Lessons of Unpacking My Sh*t

Hè!

I had a great sleep last night and woke up full of energy and light on my feet. That is really odd considering I ate way less than I have, ever in my days. Unless I was sick. I am feeling pretty good today. It’s only 5am but who am I to block this productivity? I guess a fast-mimicking cleanse brings good medicine for me. I only have 2 more days to go. I feel the natural flow of cleansing to be rhythmic as it invades my body, space, and mind. Today I will share the lessons of unpacking my shit.

Lesson #1: Clean, Tidy Spaces

We have been upgrading our carpet and with new changes we have to get into the deep corners that are not touched to clean house. This has been wonderful to get rid of things in our bedroom. I have so much space and do not plan on putting something else in its place. It will just be an empty space now. Beautiful and purposeful. I want my bedroom to be a decompression tank for me and my husband. No piles of junk and extra stuff with no home to share my space with. Everything has a home and if it does not. Do I need it? Stay tuned on our upgrades sometime this summer.

Lesson #2: Light Dinner

I am not one to know what a “light” dinner is before Ayurveda came into my life. It took me even a few years after to fully understand what a light dinner does for me. Even cutting a regular meal in half is considered lighter. I am waking up feeling light and energized even more. I feel my body wringing out from all the processed foods and gunk I have exposed myself to. This is exhilarating to say the least! This is my only body and I have goals to live a long time and hug my family.

Lesson #3: Adequate Sleep

For me, I need to be in bed by 9:30 PM. No exceptions! If I want to wake refreshed and full of purpose, then bedtime is important. I spent many, many nights up at 11pm. Shoot, we used to eat dinner around 8 pm! That is crazy to me now! LOL! Me and my husband agree, going to bed early and waking early is a huge part of who we have become. I love getting older with this man! We sync up as we age. I can suggest a good, solid night routine. What are 3 things you absolutely love to do to care for you? I start with a decompressing bath with candles and an amazing book. The warm ambiance sets the tone. I oil myself up with my herby potions and get me a hot nightcap drink going. I will settle in bed with my journal and/or book in my peaceful space.

Lesson #4: Connecting Mind, Body, Soul

I am a sucker for yoga! It gets my mind off its usual role of survival, and I can connect my mind to my body and breath. Seriously, how often do you consider your breath? Do you notice how fast it can be when you are stressed? It’s not fully expressional and short. Imagine breathing like that all the time. You don’t use it, you lose it. I notice as my loved one’s ages their breath becomes shallower. I practice my full yogic breathing daily. That is a deep loving inhale in three parts: chest, diaphragm, and belly. It is a practice and accepting where we are with it now is love. Love yourself and keep going! Whatever the flavor, being mindful to moving the body daily is key to a healthy mindset.

Lesson #5: Community

There are people just like me, that are curious with change. I am attracting people to me just by being me. I love to engage with people and share stories. There are so many groups I become a part of and I am gifted new friendships. I am always busy but most of my time is spent alone. I am changing this and getting involved daily. If I have extra time, I will volunteer and get my face out in public. I notice a lot of the same faces in my community activities. I love being with people and being around the right people is healing for me.

Yogi Outro:

I am finding my space to be less confusing and more welcoming. I have thinned out my bookshelf even and donated some good reads. I love this season because it forces me to look at things I have neglected. Spring cleaning is epic! Last year, in my garden, I didn’t take the time to properly add nutrients back into the soil. My garden paid for my decision and I had a small harvest because of it. Lesson learned! I am just like my garden. If I take my time before growing season to ensure my body is detoxed and ready for work, then I will be MVP. I will be unstoppable with hitting my goals!

Namastè!

Human Connections

Hè, friend!

I want you to know that I appreciate you showing up to read my blog. I never know what I am going to blog about and write until something catches. I go through a lot of life each day and just realized how lonely I am. I never would have thought that I could be feeling this way, but here I am. I have lots of connections, but I may not be connecting as much as I need. This is great information for me because this is something I can work on now!

Over the weekend I went alone to a Pysanky class. I made so many connections just laughing at our waxing skills.

My friends are my world! We can go long stretches and when we connect, hours of laughing and catching up! I missed a few friend catch ups this week due to unfortunate gifts from the universe but in all actuality, they may be considered blessings because I have found a huge hinderance in my life and a solution all in one day. I must be a wizard, but I will really find out if I can get through this crazy week in one piece!

One thing me and my friends like to do is catch up over food! We will order 10 things from the menu and fill up our table and get a taste of the many dishes in front of us. You can catch us walking around downtown, taking in the sights and music. Dancing is always fun too! I haven’t gone out dancing in a long time since my bedtime has been quite early lately. I can not turn down a good girl date, though.

I have a friend filled weekend planned and I cannot wait! My human connections keep me sane. I can connect with someone who knows and cares about me. Plus, being around other women is very connecting because we are on the same level. Survival. Navigators of life. We are a strong, lively bunch and very much managers of our teams. I just love my friends and I love making new ones too.

Let’s let this week bring us bountiful blessings of human connections! I know we are halfway through these 7 days but that gives us a few more days to get flowing in conversations. How many friends do you call or video chat with monthly? Do you prefer in face connections or online? Are you the advice giver or advice taker? Let’s get talking 🙂

Namaste!

All pictures by Lenape Spiritual Yogi Awakened.

Overcomer

Hè!

I have been on a wild roller coaster of a day! I just kept moving forward and accepting what is. I plan on meditating tonight just to find my mind. Today proves how little control I have over my life. I can not make my body accept anything it doesn’t want to. I can’t force insurance companies to pay what they say they will pay. I certainly can not speed up slow traffic that takes 1.5 hours to travel 20 miles. My evening will be sitting with these new complications and figuring out the best strategy to overcome cause I am an overcomer.

My strong pose, Warrior I💝

I will tend to my night routine after I write this. That will consist of an Epsom bath with an epic CBD rub down. I plan on resting in bed with a good book and will be asleep by 9:30. This is the plan, and however, this pans out is out of my scope. My loving intention is there.

I am hoping to share this not as a negative but as something that is a hindrance for my plans. Maybe my plans weren’t good enough anyway? Maybe it’s Mercury in retrograde or after effects of the solar eclipse? I’m wondering if anyone else has had a crazy few days? Well, I hope tomorrow has its act right. I can only hope, and if not, I know how to tend to my wounds.

Namastè!

All pictures by Lenape Spiritual Yogi Awakened.

Space Initiation

Hello!

I had a long, confusing day. It wasn’t bad at all, but it wasn’t how I planned it. I had all my ducks in a row and BAM! I couldn’t carry on and had to rest. I find the hard pauses a must to comply or fuck around and find out kind of deal. I didn’t miss a beat after I felt better and found myself socializing more than normal. I just didn’t get to finish my ” To Do” list I planned.

We napped💝

I did get my green juice prepped for these next few days. I have my beef bone broth brothing in the crockpot overnight. I can enjoy that as my very light lunch for a few days and if this cleanse doesn’t suit me at all I will end it. I’m actually very excited for tomorrow and reflecting during these next few days. I’m ready to cleanse and get things less heavy.

Nourishing my body is the goal this week!

I accept what is, and know I don’t always have control. Nor do I want it. I don’t know how the whole universe works and time and space. I do know how to cope and change my mindset for my health. If one of my rules causes me torment, then I’ll investigate and reassess. I don’t need outside advice, I just need time to reflect. I have begun the initiation of space into my life. Lots of space these next few days. There are lots of things to notice, I’m sure. How far can you go?

Namastè!

All pictures by Lenape Spiritual Yogi Awakened.

Self-Care Day

Hè!

I decided to spoil myself with a sunrise surprise show, medicine wheel meditation, a long walk, peaceful yoga practice, and I hung out with my cool, spiritual friends all afternoon laughing and healing. Today was much needed and I feel so full of love. I was able to tend to my garden and pull weeds. I will honor myself every Sunday, all day. A new ritual to add as a “non-negotiable”, meaning I will do this every Sunday.

A huge part of my Sundays is preparing for the week ahead. I plan on starting a fast-mimicking diet. From what I have read from my Ayurveda group I will be consuming 500 – 700 calories a day. This will ensure optimal cleaning of my body as my cells will be entering autophagy. I got the ok from my Dr, so I made my grocery list to get my healing munchies for the week.

I enjoy moving my body and getting outside to enjoy the sweet melodies of the migrated birds. There are birds that sound like dripping water, and I hear some that sound like a kitten meowing. I love witnessing nature with my senses. I found myself soaking up the songs from the trees this morning before the sun rose. I forget how healing it is to be present outside. Fully aware without anyone but me and outside. It’s very grounding and gets me in the right headspace to start my day.

Yoga is my soul’s heartbeat. I miss it after long pauses. I go through seasons making excuses and not making time for it. I never ever regretted a yoga session. I connect my body, mind, and soul. This is so real to me and if I spend a tiny 5 minutes being intentional with my breathing and movements I am revived! The puppet and the puppet master become one mind. I am aware where my body is today, at this moment along with my mind. It’s like a daily checkup for me.

My garden is my joy. I get back what I put in. I tend to the plants, weed, water, prune, de-bug so I can one day harvest and nourish my body. According to Ayurveda, digestion begins when the seed is planted. I planted beets, spinach, kale, sugar snap peas, radishes, lettuce, and onions. I get excited each day to see how much my babies grew.

I love that I have such a community of strong women. I will always treasure my friendships. That’s a huge part of me getting involved in group activities. I never know who I am going to meet and how they will impact my future. So far, I have been on a roll being at the right place, at the right time, with the right people. Women having each other’s back is the hugest tidal wave of energy so be aware of some crazy exciting movement. Nothing will be the same.

Namaste!

All pictures by Lenape Spiritual Yogi Awakened.

Roadblocks

Hello!

“Anything that is not love is only a visitor to your body.”

-Tahlia Hunter inspired by Rumi “This being human is a house guest”.

I would agree that there was too much space from my last post to now. The off time has been filled with lots of learning and getting prepared to frolic in the summer season. I have started my spring detox and with this comes cleaning out my mind. I find meditation to be the most helpful to receive messages from my body. I sync up to my highest self and get first-hand knowledge on how to navigate through the unknown. Everything in this new season is unknown and I have no idea I am about to realize the huge roadblock standing in my way is me.

To step or not to step:

I cannot look at a task for what it is. I feel when I do that it absorbs my attention into the boring monotony of completing it versus what can I learn from this? I just cannot wait to get it done but if I accept what needs to be done, then I can be mindful and present, the time flies, lessons are learned, and I move on with a pocketful of new knowledge. What a concept! Let me tell you, this has been one of the biggest lessons of my life!

I am a naturally lazy person and I enjoy my sloooow mornings but what I want is not what I NEED. The act of being a proactive person is much more than thinking it. Uggghhhh! I tend to plan more than act. Anyone feel me on that? LOL! I want to be a do-er!

This is how mediation and journaling helped me. So, I can get carried away in daydreams. How I want a moment to go, my life, my day, my night routine, etc. I may or may not act on them depending on my mood. I mean, how can I know what works if I don’t try? Well, I begin to journal what thoughts are repetitive. How do these thoughts make me feel? What would happen if I actually manifested this thought into my current life? I will close my eyes and clear my head of all thoughts as much as I can handle. I enjoy the silence, the darkness, the sounds. My breath is my focus until I settle in nothing.

I don’t know exactly how this works, but answers flood my brain. The messages I receive may be too out of my comfort zone. I may be too embarrassed or scared to step out of line. What would people think? I might start to tell myself things I heard other people say about themselves or about me. I might begin to believe the words; the names and I might start to look at myself negatively. But then, a huge part of me says, “What if I’m good at it? What if I am a success? What does success look like?”

It took me years and thousands of dollars in therapy to get to this point in my life. I spent so much time trying so many things to support who I really am. I showed up for everyone but me. I stand tall for my kids, and I will love and support them no matter what. I show up for my family and friends and shower them with all of my attentive love. I will give the shirt off my back to help someone in need. But what will I do for me? I do for everyone but myself and that is my roadblock. My huge pillar standing in my way. ME.

What does showing up for myself look like?

I have decided to be a full-time business entrepreneur. I feel the universe is fully supporting me and I can do what I need to share my drinks with the world. I have never felt so fucking comfortable in such an unfamiliar place. I just keep putting one foot in front of the other and I trust I am on the right path. I have applied to participate in a local pitch competition, and I am scared out of my mind. That is exactly what I need to level up. Fear will keep me focused and I will show up to represent who I am and what I plan to do. This is something I don’t do. Share my future goals with anyone! Holy shit! Let’s go!

I do plan on posting every day for the rest of the year (with lots of grace and love to myself). I will share my thoughts and lessons and maybe these can seed your “mind garden” and get you thinking about you, too! What will it take to level up and get to your next higher self? Oh, I can’t wait!

Namaste!

Life Update

He, friend!

It’s been a lot these past few months. I lost my sweet Alex the day after my last post. I lost a whole best friend that day, and it tore open all my wounds. I felt so lost and hurt that she died alone. I never thought it would get better. Grief is a bitch! You never know how it will hurt until you are there. I decided to get a new dog and I really feel Alex sent me that message to my brain right after she died. I cried all the time for the first few days with my new dog, Max. I bet he was so confused to the emotions I carried. Plus, he was so new to me. He keeps me busy, and I love him so much! I love learning how our relationship grows, together, as a new family.

Alex smiling and Aiko chillin vibes✌🏽

I lost my job and still haven’t found a new one, but I am keeping myself so busy. I am building a new herbal adaptogenic drink business from the ground up. I have no idea what I am doing, but I am going to try. I am really enjoying this process. It is making me vulnerable, but I am building new relationships and getting excellent advice from the messages that visit me. I have reached out to my business friends to get some answers to my worries, and everyone says, “Just do it!” I have an army of support and I cannot believe that this former alcoholic, lost to the bottle, has people rooting me on. I really love, love, love my friends and family! Theeee best!

Does anybody else bathe their dogs in the sink? He’s so cute🤩

I do not have all the answers, and I have been straying from my usual grounding exercises, like yoga and meditating. I have been bringing back my morning saging and meditation because I find myself floating around like a leaf with no purpose! For real! I brought myself back with my own knowledge about me and found myself way ahead this week than I was last week! It is mind-blowing why I stray from it. I mean, quieting my brain when I have a million and one things to get done? No way! But, yes way is the WAY!! I am shouting from the top of my meditating yoga mouth. LOL!

This guy keeps me on my toes!! Maximilian💝

My body craves movement every day. If I ignore it, I get pretty stiff and way sorer than my heaviest lifting day. I find myself spending at least 100 steps to work out the kink in my right knee. My back takes some side to side and front to back stretches and hopefully, me and my back are on the same network, and I do not end up with another ailment from stretching the wrong way😂 That is why I am working on getting to yoga class. I find a lot of reasons why I can not get up and go….like, right now but “I’m writing this blog.” It is on my radar and may make an entrance next week or even tomorrow. All I need is the seed and the nurturing I give takes care of my growing 🙂 I am in seed stage after being hacked up from a weed whacker, I will get back to me soon enough.

Forever my sidekicks 💖

I enjoy planning future fun with my non-furry friends. I just had a friend come over and organize my pantry last week. She is beginning her business adventure too, so we have so much to learn from each other and she has been my best friend since 9! I have a pottery painting date and lunch dates over the next few weeks, and I enjoy spending time creating relationships and trust. I love learning from my friends and getting different perspectives. Plus, we are getting into a “giving” season, so people are just seasonally very nice. Take advantage! Make a new friend, and who knows, they may just be what you need in this crazy place called LIFE!

This was Alex when we first met😍

I am finding my path in the dark. I was intimidated to act on my dreams and now I am living my dreams. I have freedom and space and that is the recipe I needed to come out of my shell. I guess where this road leads, I have no idea. I do know I want to keep going because this might just be the road that will bring me to my next chapter. I also found out I am going to be a grandma! Not just once…but twice:)

Wanishi! (Thank you)

All pictures are a tribute to my furry friends that impact my life daily💝

All pictures by Lenape Spiritual Yogi Awakened.

Dillema’ing

Hi, yogi!

How’s your summer been? I have been enjoying the hot summer days and getting lost in my books. What a summer it has been! The company I worked for over eight years lost their fight with finances and declared bankruptcy. I was tossed into a very unexpected dilemma. I am still dilemma’ing over here, but I know all the kinks will work itself out. I trust the end will be exactly what I need. I am not in panic mode, but the newfound space in my days is slowly being filled with meaningful work. I have time to learn the things I wanted to learn and tend to my garden meticulously. I can slow and enjoy my sights and experiences.

I taught myself to can the pears my mother-in-law shared with me.

Don’t get me wrong, I pay my bills with cash, too. I know my leisure mindset can easily turn into pure chaos when bill reminders get frequent or turn to past due. Gulp! I’m not there yet, and it might not even be in the cards for me, so I’ll panic only as needed. In the meantime, I will stay busy. I really enjoy learning. When will I get another opportunity in my life to evaluate my path with such discretion and analytics? Never again. I hope… I will get my skills aligned with another great job. I just know it. For now, I learn. I have signed up for grant writing classes, and I am looking into an Excel brush-up. I am also almost finished with my herbalism classes as well. Oh yeah, I am also re-learning college Algebra because, why not?

I made a sweet Charcuterie for my crochet get-together ❤️

My mental health is strongly influenced by my body movements throughout the day. I ended up joining a bootcamp style gym, and I push myself and get my heart pumping. I make sure I get about 12,000 steps a day with the bulk of the steps during my hour daily walk. I find that moving my body gets my thoughts moving as well as digestion. So many benefits in a time of great stress. I count on this to get me in a healthy mindset for the day. I also love to do this early in the day, so whatever life has to throw at me is counterbalanced with my morning routine.

A beautiful morning walk into the sunrise

I have been keeping my work schedule. I need to ensure I am keeping myself busy while looking for work. I will work on my computer or my phone and keep a consistent daily agenda of 8 things I would like to accomplish for the day. I put in full effort in all my work, and I hope it shows. I know keeping myself busy like I’m working for someone else will increase my efforts in believing in myself. Some days it feels like I’m playing “office”. I am not getting paid as I know I should but that in turn tells me, I need to keep trucking along. I am following the yellow brick road to my financial freedom; I know it cause my dreams tell me so.

I choose myself every time.

My goals have been getting shined up and more deliberate. I am proving my capabilities and my eagerness to learn every day. I am not going to sit on my hands and let my life blow in the wind. It’s my turn to ride the wind and glide into my next endeavor with my eyes fully open and my mind fully engaged. I hope you find some inspiration to change what you can in the craziness of life. Keep moving forward!

Namaste!

All pictures by Lenape Spiritual Yogi Awakened.

Learning to Love the Pauses

Hè, friend!

My days are filling with lots of movement. The longer days energize me with stamina and curiosity. I am in my third week of 5:30 am bootcamp. Just two weeks ago, I was so sore that all I could do was move slowly and awkwardly. All that came out of my mouth was,  “I’m so sore.” Well, good thing my body did what it does to repair the brokenness. I trust the process and understand that after boot camp and 12,000 steps a day, I’m allowed rest. My body needs restoration and salty tub soaks, slower evenings with abhyanga or self-massage, and loving massages from my husband. I’m learning to love the pauses because then healing will take place.

The rain carries so much more than water. The sound is the most mesmerizing to me.

Listen with Intent

More is more. We don’t always need more, we need to learn to listen to our bodies. I find slowing down to meditate gets all my senses in line with what is really going on. It’s my time to gather knowledge and truths. I don’t need to read a magazine or listen to a podcast to know what’s going on in me. Right? So, what feels good to stretch after a grueling workout? Do I need to practice yin yoga? Am I listening to my body’s need or just going through mindless motions? Listening is key to a healthy body mindset.

Yoga and nature create my peace.

Yoga Asanas

I love yoga! Yoga brought me to my core. My purpose in life. How? I know, it’s crazy! Yoga began as a workout, but being in my mind on my mat, reflecting on my day, life, and worldly views, entranced me. I became the next victim to the power of yoga. My curiosity kept me coming back to my mat. What will I find out today? How will my body adjust to these new fruitations? My mind is a sponge, and I want all of it! I’m starting to read about yoga philosophy, and this old knowledge feels alive inside of me. I carry it in all my conversations with myself and others. Even my yoga studio offers conversations on Thursdays.  Heart love💝

I get up and move every morning, rain or shine.

Start My Day Right

Oh, gotta love that morning routine! I am  lazy to get out of my bed. I like to play my day in my head while my husband takes up space in our bathroom. Anything to enjoy being in my haven. I get up and kiss him good morning as I make my way into the bathroom. I brush my teeth, scrape my tongue, wash my face, use my homemade Chamomile toner, massage my homemade calendula shea butter into my face utilizing gua sha, and salt rinse and oil my nose. I get dressed for my workout and get to stepping. When I get home, I eliminate, shower, and abhyanga my poor muscles. Depending on my hunger, I will eat or get away with a hot tea to begin my next session of my day.

Anything can be nourishing if you can be mindful.

Mindful Movement

I love my body so much. It took some time for me to say it, let alone write about it. My body was home to my three babies. My body endured pain, life, regrets, and abuse. It was me who blocked it out. If I can love others, I sure as hell can love myself. If I’m moving with purpose I can tend to my body’s needs and get into my day helping others.

Yogi Outro

I am enjoying the longer days, and the heat is welcoming to my cooler body temps. I find the line so very thin between moving my body all day and rest. Am I being lazy by resting? Am I lazy because I want to read in my hammock and enjoy the cool morning breeze? Maybe, but I have to be ok with it. I love to cut corners so I can have my lazy, restorative practices. It’s a balance and going, going, going will lead to burn out. I am learning to enjoy the pauses and enjoy watching my seeds grow.

Namastè!

All pictures by Lenape Spiritual Yogi Awakened.

Accepting What Is

Hè, friend!

I have been enjoying taking care of myself and nurturing my soul. I take so much pride in how far I have come in my life. It is surreal to think three years ago I was drowning my sorrows in big schooners of IPAs. Now, I’m grounded and able to face any problem head-on without a second thought. Plus, I have the best circle of people who build me up. I am sharing space with people like me. I am not hanging on to old friends or old memories and feeling stuck in my old ways of coping. I have moved on. I want to keep progressing, and the only way is to stop looking back. My acceptance of my future and how I want my future to look like is my key to my happiness. The rearview mirror isn’t distracting me anymore. My future is in plainview, and it’s mesmerizing!

This garden parsley and fennel face 😂

Spread Love Where Love Is Sparse

Who you were yesterday doesn’t have to define you today unless you want it to. Say that twice. I’m sure depending on who you’re talking to, there will be many opinions of me. Some good, some bad. If I cared about the world’s opinion, I wouldn’t have time to focus on me being my best self. I bring forth my best smiles to frowns. I give hugs for free! I listen intently to anyone willing to give me a friendly conversation. I give, give, give. I don’t expect anything back. I just want anyone I encounter to feel good being them. I want to bring love and care back into the picture. If for one moment strangers become friends and enemies agree to disagree, then the day was pretty great.

Bee nice😍

8 Hugs A Day

I told my Ayurveda teacher how cold I’ve been lately, like, “to the bone chill.” She suggested many scenarios, but lack of loving attention from others struck me deep. I do demand hugs from my family, but I haven’t been present with them. I’ve been soldiering through the muck of life with only me. It was apparent that I needed more community and more time with those I love. That’s my secret recipe to refuel. I was giving, giving, giving, and no one filled me up. I neglected me in a sense. So, my teacher said we need 8 hugs a day. How many hugs do you get a day? Now, that I’m mindful, I aim for 8. Get in those hugs! Lol!

My husband still holds my hand. He takes me on drives so I can see the sunset. That’s love💗

Community

I never know who I am going to meet outside my house. I love volunteering and meeting all the world has to offer. I find people so enchanting, and their stories capture me every time! I do get filled up with love when I see a group of people serving the community. I work hard, planting seeds and growing myself to the woman I see myself as. She’s wise, loving, accountable, trusting, strong. I build these gifts from the people I meet, so thank you🥹

My cuddle buddies 💙❤️

Yogi Outro

We all have gifts. The funnest part of life is finding who you are. My discovery process has been fulfilling and keeps me accountable. I strive each day to take yesterday’s learnings into today’s garden. I don’t have to plant them all. Some seeds are not to grow on but keep to give to someone else. I’m always thinking of others. I’m a nurturer, but not everyone needs me. I learned to back off. Those are my lessons learned. I also make sure I’m getting not only self- love but also accept love from others. Especially those hugs!

Namastè!

All pictures by Lenape Spiritual Yogi Awakened.