Eras Collab

April 22, 2024 / Self-Diagnosed Yogi / Leave a comment

Hè, friend!

Another week began, and I decided to vacate the usual hamster wheel routine. Things need to be rearranged to fit my new life aspirations motif. I am manifesting me. New me, improved me, a new eras me. I will embrace this change because it’s a collab of all the past mes at my highest self. I have a collection of personal highs that will encourage me to live as my highest self. I present an eras collab.

Youth me:

I could sit by this little stream and watch the patterns ripple over the tree roots and rocks. There was a comfort in the songs of the birds. I knew this wooded area so well. I spent so much of my childhood here. Alone. I preferred. I never needed anyone here. I was always safe.

There is nothing like an early morning walk to greet the sun. It’s amazing! I also like to workout early. My plan is to move every morning. This daily practice helped me tremendously with my recovery. I know I need it.

Teen me:

I loved to write. I would listen to Lauryn Hill and write poems, stories, and research papers. Lol! I was obsessed with words and meanings. There is a floetry to a love dance or hurt. Being a teen in the 90s was amazing. I had great women to admire and get inspiration.

I plan on getting word creative daily. I’m not sure how that looks, but infesting myself with words is my goal. In and out.

20’s me:

Social butterfly in the house! I was in it all! I miss having the hours long girl time conversing and not having to hold back cause your circle was tight. I could hold the same sacred circle for all my girls. What a huge blessing.

30’s me:

Lifting weights was unlike any other workout. I was so connected; mind, body. I was able to build muscles and squat heavy. I showed up for myself and surprised myself. I got pretty fit by myself. I can get back to this mindset, no problem.

As vast as this ocean is, I trust the journey.

40’s me:

Acceptance. I never fully understood what this would be like. I enter my 40s facing the unknown. Life after covid, wrinkles, finally facing my alcohol problem, new career turn, spiritual awakening, healing traumas. That’s in 2 years. Life is wild!

I might have this huge plan to slowly introduce my highest eras back into existence, but with my wisdom, I know acceptance for where I am is most needed. Acceptance is my peace and wisdom is my compass.

Namastè!

All pictures by Self-Diagnosed Yogi.

Manifestor

April 18, 2024April 18, 2024 / Self-Diagnosed Yogi / Leave a comment

Hè, friend!

It’s been pretty quiet over here. I have been taking some time out to decompress and reset. I am ready to resume my path, and I am contemplating how my mornings will look beginning next week. I have new focus and direction to entertain me while the kinks of my life work themselves out. I will finish what I started and noticed I’m falling back into a pattern of a bunch of half-finished shit. Ew. I want to manifest myself as a finisher and even better as a successful businesswoman. I have saved millions for big corporations, and now it’s time for me to use my power for me. I will determine my successes, and this will be such an amazing time to learn and make money while learning on the job.

What is a manifestor?

A do-er. The seer from manifesto to end-O. Me. Hi, I am a manifestor of my life dreams and I turn them into reality. I know what things make me sing and I know what the beat of my heart longs for. I am excellent at solving my own problems and keeping moving forward. My dreams become tangible, and I keep manifesting my dreams.

Make a detailed list.

How can I know what I really want if I don’t write it down? I get excited seeing new monthly goals typed out. It makes them real. I mean, how can I talk about my future plans with my future customers if I’m not planning? Duh! I love planning, it’s acting on those plans that’s my downfall. I find myself in too many rooms and not finished painting one of them. I think this might be mindless sabotage pattern that I need to break. I see how this sneaky little, big, huge problem snaked its way into my sober life. I quit alcohol so this is nothing. Here goes nothing.

Do I need to break a pattern?

First of all, I will need to be the one to recognize it. Then, I have to agree to change its form. I find value in boundaries and making sure I trust where I am. Do I need armor? Do I need my defenses up? I like to fully understand where I am in my feelings. How do I feel? That is a multiple, daily question. For real. Next, is the breakthrough question if there is value in change. Sometimes awareness plants a seed and eventually a new thought pattern can grow from that. It just takes time to see where growth takes place. Growth isn’t necessarily lowering the gates, just awareness.

Small wins!

I will celebrate every day. There is a lot that goes into my human day of life. I take for granted waking up. I mean, that is a huge blessing! I have a lot of classmates that didn’t make it to my age so prayers up! I know success because my whole life has been just that. I know I cannot lose when my mind is 100% in the game and I really believe I am on the right, successful path that I am supposed to be on.

Namastè!

All pictures by Self Diagnosed Yogi.

Life Update

November 4, 2023November 4, 2023 / Self-Diagnosed Yogi / Leave a comment

He, friend!

It’s been a lot these past few months. I lost my sweet Alex the day after my last post. I lost a whole best friend that day, and it tore open all my wounds. I felt so lost and hurt that she died alone. I never thought it would get better. Grief is a bitch! You never know how it will hurt until you are there. I decided to get a new dog and I really feel Alex sent me that message to my brain right after she died. I cried all the time for the first few days with my new dog, Max. I bet he was so confused to the emotions I carried. Plus, he was so new to me. He keeps me busy, and I love him so much! I love learning how our relationship grows, together, as a new family.

I lost my job and still haven’t found a new one, but I am keeping myself so busy. I am building a new herbal adaptogenic drink business from the ground up. I have no idea what I am doing, but I am going to try. I am really enjoying this process. It is making me vulnerable, but I am building new relationships and getting excellent advice from the messages that visit me. I have reached out to my business friends to get some answers to my worries, and everyone says, “Just do it!” I have an army of support and I cannot believe that this former alcoholic, lost to the bottle, has people rooting me on. I really love, love, love my friends and family! Theeee best!

Does anybody else bathe their dogs in the sink? He’s so cute🤩

I do not have all the answers, and I have been straying from my usual grounding exercises, like yoga and meditating. I have been bringing back my morning saging and meditation because I find myself floating around like a leaf with no purpose! For real! I brought myself back with my own knowledge about me and found myself way ahead this week than I was last week! It is mind-blowing why I stray from it. I mean, quieting my brain when I have a million and one things to get done? No way! But, yes way is the WAY!! I am shouting from the top of my meditating yoga mouth. LOL!

This guy keeps me on my toes!! Maximilian💝

My body craves movement every day. If I ignore it, I get pretty stiff and way sorer than my heaviest lifting day. I find myself spending at least 100 steps to work out the kink in my right knee. My back takes some side to side and front to back stretches and hopefully, me and my back are on the same network, and I do not end up with another ailment from stretching the wrong way😂 That is why I am working on getting to yoga class. I find a lot of reasons why I can not get up and go….like, right now but “I’m writing this blog.” It is on my radar and may make an entrance next week or even tomorrow. All I need is the seed and the nurturing I give takes care of my growing 🙂 I am in seed stage after being hacked up from a weed whacker, I will get back to me soon enough.

I enjoy planning future fun with my non-furry friends. I just had a friend come over and organize my pantry last week. She is beginning her business adventure too, so we have so much to learn from each other and she has been my best friend since 9! I have a pottery painting date and lunch dates over the next few weeks, and I enjoy spending time creating relationships and trust. I love learning from my friends and getting different perspectives. Plus, we are getting into a “giving” season, so people are just seasonally very nice. Take advantage! Make a new friend, and who knows, they may just be what you need in this crazy place called LIFE!

I am finding my path in the dark. I was intimidated to act on my dreams and now I am living my dreams. I have freedom and space and that is the recipe I needed to come out of my shell. I guess where this road leads, I have no idea. I do know I want to keep going because this might just be the road that will bring me to my next chapter. I also found out I am going to be a grandma! Not just once…but twice:)

Wanishi! (Thank you)

All pictures are a tribute to my furry friends that impact my life daily💝

All pictures by Lenape Spiritual Yogi Awakened.

How late is too late?

September 23, 2022December 12, 2022 / Self-Diagnosed Yogi / Leave a comment

Hi, yogi friend!

I write this as a reflection on my early morning faux pas. Being late. First off, I stayed in bed and began to get caught up on Ayurveda class and recipes. I then get a reminder that I have yoga class in 10 min. I hopped up, showered, abhyonga, brushed my teeth, scraped my tongue (so white😮‍💨), Nettie pot, and oiled my sinuses. It’s 5:36. By the time I get there it would be 5:45. I know the instructor wouldn’t mind at all but I feel defeated. For real, how late is it obnoxious?

Me patiently awaiting the sun and all the warmth.

I know I’ve said this before but I need space. This is why my time management is off. I need to be allowed more wiggle room. I’m a free spirit and now I feel trapped. I set this crazy, scheduled mindset up to protect myself. I needed a full day all the time to protect me from going back to old habits. I am more aware and honed in on stress in my body now that I cut out the alcohol. I don’t have anywhere to run and hide. I. Feel. It. All. I am late to this game by 4 weeks. Are you late? Is it just me?

Yesterday, was pretty chilly. 2nd day of fall right on time🕒🌬🍂

I don’t like to be known as the late one or undependable. But I am. Why do these labels I named irritate me? This cannot be my demise. I did so much work in the past year that this is what does me in? Hell no! I forget. I have a team of people rooting for me and helping me build my life back to a healthy existence. My yoga teacher told me that we need to keep our tools in our pocket. What do I know to help me alleviate the pain of stress? I meditate.

My pranabath followed by a deliciously, nourishing meditation💖

I meditate most days. I crave it. It doesn’t have to be the drawn out drive to a lake or nature. It can be your backyard, livingroom, bedroom, bathroom, closet, wherever you can sit or lay, you can meditate. There is something about being in nature though. Everything about it I absolutely adore. I absorb prana sounds, smells, sight, taste of the new fall coolness, earth alive on my bum by the water. This is our new RX. I bet your doctor never prescribed this free thought.

As I create more space on my calendar I cannot forget my home and car. What am I holding onto? I have lots of hidden corners in my home and I know a good purge is coming and it’ll feel so nourishing! I can’t wait to share that cause just the idea has me psyched! I feel a huge weight lifting. A shift. This should help me get a clearer head as well. Crazy, right? Or no?

My favorite beet and lentil soup to bring in fall🌻

I don’t mean this as a bash session on myself. Awareness is key and a 1st step. I met with my Ayurveydic practitioner and he told me I’m Pitta Kapha which I now have a clearer understanding on my doshas to begin healing. It was a joy to learn all about me and be given a prescription to live again and it’s unlike any prescription you’ve been given! I’ll share more on my next blog!

Namastè 🙏🏽

All pictures by Lenape Spiritual Yogi Awakened.

Transformation Proclamation

August 21, 2022December 12, 2022 / Self-Diagnosed Yogi / Leave a comment

Hi, friends!

I have been healing and enjoying my transformation these past few weeks. This journey is out of this world and I’m so excited to share my life in all its exquisite light. I know I’m beginning my spiritual awakening and I’ve never, ever felt so free in my whole life. I’m literally glistening in my body, mind, and spirit.

My daily meditation is crucial to my healing.

What is a spiritual awakening? From my research, it’s an episode that happens in your life (usually, tramatic, at least for me) that sparks a deep, inner awakening. I have been experiencing this for over a year and I didn’t know what I was witnessing until I went down a rabbit hole and me being me, I am embracing it all. I find myself right at home in nature. Something very familiar indeed. I crave it.

I have so much peace in my life and this privilege allows me the ability and space to enjoy this journey. I am safe and able to freely begin peeling off the decades layers of ego and disassociate myself from others opinions. I just want me. Raw. I often ask myself who would I be if I were dropped off in a field with nothing nearby. What would my super powers be? How would I sustain myself? I will always be. I know I am strong and capable of healing. Such power in knowledge, right?

So, I am not working alone. I have a therapist, sponsor, yoga teachers, Ayurveda teacher, & multiple strong friends to accompany me on this journey. I’m working through some very, very old traumas and as I do, it gets easier to talk about and work through. That in turn, makes all aspects of my life easier. I can tell I’m opening my heart. Not just in feelings but even in yoga. My flipped dog is pretty open and fierce, if you ask me. All power! This is new and lovely.

I will bring my blanket and a book to any park at anytime to get my much needed nature time.

There has been a lot déjà vu as well. I will have people repeat things from my head (dreams?) or multiple people will tell me the exact, verbatim words🥺 I thought I wasn’t dreaming, so I told my acupuncturist and she went to work with needles in my head and by the next morning, I remembered past dreams. I was trying to tell my husband but as I spoke they were disappearing from my memory. I stopped talking so I could gather the quickly dissipating memories but it was too late. Oh well, atleast I got confirmation I am dreaming.

I’ve also been feeling my sensory organs are heightened. Some people appear brighter than others and they can also appear louder. I’m not sure why yet as I’m still in the discovery phase and this just started happening this weekend. 😳 My daughter has a lot of energy and when she got excited today it felt like a surge of my personal energy was zapped. I had to let her know that was a lot and I couldn’t handle another. Another what? I don’t know but my senses were on high alert to not be robbed again!

My new life. This is creating a strong, loving, dedicated, instinctual, headstrong, balanced, committed human being. I’m am learning so much about myself in this process. I’m slowly getting back into my Ayurveda balanced meals and I’ll share those soon! Take the time to create your beautiful rituals. Keep yourself in a loving light and be kind, not just to others. Be kind to you too. I hope this sparks an interest. Or maybe you relate and you’re on your own journey and didn’t even know, like me!😅

Namaste🧘🏽‍♀️