Manifestor

Hè, friend!

It’s been pretty quiet over here. I have been taking some time out to decompress and reset. I am ready to resume my path, and I am contemplating how my mornings will look beginning next week. I have new focus and direction to entertain me while the kinks of my life work themselves out. I will finish what I started and noticed I’m falling back into a pattern of a bunch of half-finished shit. Ew. I want to manifest myself as a finisher and even better as a successful businesswoman. I have saved millions for big corporations, and now it’s time for me to use my power for me. I will determine my successes, and this will be such an amazing time to learn and make money while learning on the job.

What is a manifestor?

A do-er. The seer from manifesto to end-O. Me. Hi, I am a manifestor of my life dreams and I turn them into reality. I know what things make me sing and I know what the beat of my heart longs for. I am excellent at solving my own problems and keeping moving forward. My dreams become tangible, and I keep manifesting my dreams.

Make a detailed list.

How can I know what I really want if I don’t write it down? I get excited seeing new monthly goals typed out. It makes them real. I mean, how can I talk about my future plans with my future customers if I’m not planning? Duh! I love planning, it’s acting on those plans that’s my downfall. I find myself in too many rooms and not finished painting one of them. I think this might be mindless sabotage pattern that I need to break. I see how this sneaky little, big, huge problem snaked its way into my sober life. I quit alcohol so this is nothing. Here goes nothing.

Do I need to break a pattern?

First of all, I will need to be the one to recognize it. Then, I have to agree to change its form. I find value in boundaries and making sure I trust where I am. Do I need armor? Do I need my defenses up? I like to fully understand where I am in my feelings. How do I feel? That is a multiple, daily question. For real. Next, is the breakthrough question if there is value in change. Sometimes awareness plants a seed and eventually a new thought pattern can grow from that. It just takes time to see where growth takes place. Growth isn’t necessarily lowering the gates, just awareness.

Small wins!

I will celebrate every day. There is a lot that goes into my human day of life. I take for granted waking up. I mean, that is a huge blessing! I have a lot of classmates that didn’t make it to my age so prayers up! I know success because my whole life has been just that. I know I cannot lose when my mind is 100% in the game and I really believe I am on the right, successful path that I am supposed to be on.

Namastè!

All pictures by Self Diagnosed Yogi.

Fear What?

Hè, friend!

How has the weekend been treating you? Yesterday was beautiful and hot! I was able to spend some time catching up on some business ends and met up with my dear friend. We talked nonstop for 5 hours. Oh, I needed that! Girl time. We went to a pow wow, and I was looking for new earrings and a ribbon skirt but left empty-handed somehow.

Today, I decided to get on a reading schedule. My plan is to educate myself by reading more non-fiction books. I’m starting with “The Emerald Tablet of Hermes” by Hermes Trismegistus. I am a truth seeker. I think the very seed was planted when I decided that. I have been watching this seed bloom and begin my spiritual awakening in 2020.

A spiritual awakening is when the NPC (non playable character) decides one day to do something different. I stepped out of line and decided to go outside the drawn line. I began to question a lot. I decided I would unlearn and reset seeking only the truth. Then,  Ayurveda came. I have never felt so supported by something I only just found out about. I wanted it applied to all of my life, but I had no idea how. Well, boom!! Here comes my local yoga studio offering teachings.

Life is amazing when you are really present. Think about when you really wanted something. Did you get it? I do. If I don’t get it, then it wasn’t mine. I understand this. It’s very new, but as soon as I started looking at my life at a 30,000-foot view, I saw. I am just now dipping my toes in the fear pool. I know the only way for me to level up is that I need to do something big. Out of comfort. I will be ok and learn a lot on this new venture.

My safety spot is closing in on me cause I’m getting too big. My ideas need more space and more experience. Even if I fail, I will learn. I just need to keep moving. I hope to see you at the finish line as we conquer these fears.

Namastè!

All pictures by Lenape Spiritual Yogi Awakened.

Pep to My Step

Hello!

Happy Friday! I can’t believe I made it! This week has been insane and somehow I’m here! All I want to do is rest and pamper myself. I feel a pedicure and massage coming. Oh, joy! What are your weekend plans?

My weekend will be full of my best girlfriends and I sharing conversations and lots of laughter. I miss my friends so much! I don’t know about you, but there is a certain energy with uplifting women. I get recharged so I can continue sharing my gifts. I get to say out loud my goals and not be discouraged by upstaging. We are on our own journeys, but damn, magic happens with my girls. I love them💞

I’m ending my cleanse after today. I seriously will continue the light, early dinner because that wake-up call is early, and I like this new pep to my step. It’s nice and light and full of energy! “Snap your fingers, do your step,” Lil John.

I don’t have many pictures to share, but I will tomorrow! This week was about survival, and well, now it’s time to party 🥳

Namastè!

Lessons of Unpacking My Sh*t

Hè!

I had a great sleep last night and woke up full of energy and light on my feet. That is really odd considering I ate way less than I have, ever in my days. Unless I was sick. I am feeling pretty good today. It’s only 5am but who am I to block this productivity? I guess a fast-mimicking cleanse brings good medicine for me. I only have 2 more days to go. I feel the natural flow of cleansing to be rhythmic as it invades my body, space, and mind. Today I will share the lessons of unpacking my shit.

Lesson #1: Clean, Tidy Spaces

We have been upgrading our carpet and with new changes we have to get into the deep corners that are not touched to clean house. This has been wonderful to get rid of things in our bedroom. I have so much space and do not plan on putting something else in its place. It will just be an empty space now. Beautiful and purposeful. I want my bedroom to be a decompression tank for me and my husband. No piles of junk and extra stuff with no home to share my space with. Everything has a home and if it does not. Do I need it? Stay tuned on our upgrades sometime this summer.

Lesson #2: Light Dinner

I am not one to know what a “light” dinner is before Ayurveda came into my life. It took me even a few years after to fully understand what a light dinner does for me. Even cutting a regular meal in half is considered lighter. I am waking up feeling light and energized even more. I feel my body wringing out from all the processed foods and gunk I have exposed myself to. This is exhilarating to say the least! This is my only body and I have goals to live a long time and hug my family.

Lesson #3: Adequate Sleep

For me, I need to be in bed by 9:30 PM. No exceptions! If I want to wake refreshed and full of purpose, then bedtime is important. I spent many, many nights up at 11pm. Shoot, we used to eat dinner around 8 pm! That is crazy to me now! LOL! Me and my husband agree, going to bed early and waking early is a huge part of who we have become. I love getting older with this man! We sync up as we age. I can suggest a good, solid night routine. What are 3 things you absolutely love to do to care for you? I start with a decompressing bath with candles and an amazing book. The warm ambiance sets the tone. I oil myself up with my herby potions and get me a hot nightcap drink going. I will settle in bed with my journal and/or book in my peaceful space.

Lesson #4: Connecting Mind, Body, Soul

I am a sucker for yoga! It gets my mind off its usual role of survival, and I can connect my mind to my body and breath. Seriously, how often do you consider your breath? Do you notice how fast it can be when you are stressed? It’s not fully expressional and short. Imagine breathing like that all the time. You don’t use it, you lose it. I notice as my loved one’s ages their breath becomes shallower. I practice my full yogic breathing daily. That is a deep loving inhale in three parts: chest, diaphragm, and belly. It is a practice and accepting where we are with it now is love. Love yourself and keep going! Whatever the flavor, being mindful to moving the body daily is key to a healthy mindset.

Lesson #5: Community

There are people just like me, that are curious with change. I am attracting people to me just by being me. I love to engage with people and share stories. There are so many groups I become a part of and I am gifted new friendships. I am always busy but most of my time is spent alone. I am changing this and getting involved daily. If I have extra time, I will volunteer and get my face out in public. I notice a lot of the same faces in my community activities. I love being with people and being around the right people is healing for me.

Yogi Outro:

I am finding my space to be less confusing and more welcoming. I have thinned out my bookshelf even and donated some good reads. I love this season because it forces me to look at things I have neglected. Spring cleaning is epic! Last year, in my garden, I didn’t take the time to properly add nutrients back into the soil. My garden paid for my decision and I had a small harvest because of it. Lesson learned! I am just like my garden. If I take my time before growing season to ensure my body is detoxed and ready for work, then I will be MVP. I will be unstoppable with hitting my goals!

Namastè!

Human Connections

Hè, friend!

I want you to know that I appreciate you showing up to read my blog. I never know what I am going to blog about and write until something catches. I go through a lot of life each day and just realized how lonely I am. I never would have thought that I could be feeling this way, but here I am. I have lots of connections, but I may not be connecting as much as I need. This is great information for me because this is something I can work on now!

Over the weekend I went alone to a Pysanky class. I made so many connections just laughing at our waxing skills.

My friends are my world! We can go long stretches and when we connect, hours of laughing and catching up! I missed a few friend catch ups this week due to unfortunate gifts from the universe but in all actuality, they may be considered blessings because I have found a huge hinderance in my life and a solution all in one day. I must be a wizard, but I will really find out if I can get through this crazy week in one piece!

One thing me and my friends like to do is catch up over food! We will order 10 things from the menu and fill up our table and get a taste of the many dishes in front of us. You can catch us walking around downtown, taking in the sights and music. Dancing is always fun too! I haven’t gone out dancing in a long time since my bedtime has been quite early lately. I can not turn down a good girl date, though.

I have a friend filled weekend planned and I cannot wait! My human connections keep me sane. I can connect with someone who knows and cares about me. Plus, being around other women is very connecting because we are on the same level. Survival. Navigators of life. We are a strong, lively bunch and very much managers of our teams. I just love my friends and I love making new ones too.

Let’s let this week bring us bountiful blessings of human connections! I know we are halfway through these 7 days but that gives us a few more days to get flowing in conversations. How many friends do you call or video chat with monthly? Do you prefer in face connections or online? Are you the advice giver or advice taker? Let’s get talking 🙂

Namaste!

All pictures by Lenape Spiritual Yogi Awakened.

Life Update

He, friend!

It’s been a lot these past few months. I lost my sweet Alex the day after my last post. I lost a whole best friend that day, and it tore open all my wounds. I felt so lost and hurt that she died alone. I never thought it would get better. Grief is a bitch! You never know how it will hurt until you are there. I decided to get a new dog and I really feel Alex sent me that message to my brain right after she died. I cried all the time for the first few days with my new dog, Max. I bet he was so confused to the emotions I carried. Plus, he was so new to me. He keeps me busy, and I love him so much! I love learning how our relationship grows, together, as a new family.

Alex smiling and Aiko chillin vibes✌🏽

I lost my job and still haven’t found a new one, but I am keeping myself so busy. I am building a new herbal adaptogenic drink business from the ground up. I have no idea what I am doing, but I am going to try. I am really enjoying this process. It is making me vulnerable, but I am building new relationships and getting excellent advice from the messages that visit me. I have reached out to my business friends to get some answers to my worries, and everyone says, “Just do it!” I have an army of support and I cannot believe that this former alcoholic, lost to the bottle, has people rooting me on. I really love, love, love my friends and family! Theeee best!

Does anybody else bathe their dogs in the sink? He’s so cute🤩

I do not have all the answers, and I have been straying from my usual grounding exercises, like yoga and meditating. I have been bringing back my morning saging and meditation because I find myself floating around like a leaf with no purpose! For real! I brought myself back with my own knowledge about me and found myself way ahead this week than I was last week! It is mind-blowing why I stray from it. I mean, quieting my brain when I have a million and one things to get done? No way! But, yes way is the WAY!! I am shouting from the top of my meditating yoga mouth. LOL!

This guy keeps me on my toes!! Maximilian💝

My body craves movement every day. If I ignore it, I get pretty stiff and way sorer than my heaviest lifting day. I find myself spending at least 100 steps to work out the kink in my right knee. My back takes some side to side and front to back stretches and hopefully, me and my back are on the same network, and I do not end up with another ailment from stretching the wrong way😂 That is why I am working on getting to yoga class. I find a lot of reasons why I can not get up and go….like, right now but “I’m writing this blog.” It is on my radar and may make an entrance next week or even tomorrow. All I need is the seed and the nurturing I give takes care of my growing 🙂 I am in seed stage after being hacked up from a weed whacker, I will get back to me soon enough.

Forever my sidekicks 💖

I enjoy planning future fun with my non-furry friends. I just had a friend come over and organize my pantry last week. She is beginning her business adventure too, so we have so much to learn from each other and she has been my best friend since 9! I have a pottery painting date and lunch dates over the next few weeks, and I enjoy spending time creating relationships and trust. I love learning from my friends and getting different perspectives. Plus, we are getting into a “giving” season, so people are just seasonally very nice. Take advantage! Make a new friend, and who knows, they may just be what you need in this crazy place called LIFE!

This was Alex when we first met😍

I am finding my path in the dark. I was intimidated to act on my dreams and now I am living my dreams. I have freedom and space and that is the recipe I needed to come out of my shell. I guess where this road leads, I have no idea. I do know I want to keep going because this might just be the road that will bring me to my next chapter. I also found out I am going to be a grandma! Not just once…but twice:)

Wanishi! (Thank you)

All pictures are a tribute to my furry friends that impact my life daily💝

All pictures by Lenape Spiritual Yogi Awakened.

Dillema’ing

Hi, yogi!

How’s your summer been? I have been enjoying the hot summer days and getting lost in my books. What a summer it has been! The company I worked for over eight years lost their fight with finances and declared bankruptcy. I was tossed into a very unexpected dilemma. I am still dilemma’ing over here, but I know all the kinks will work itself out. I trust the end will be exactly what I need. I am not in panic mode, but the newfound space in my days is slowly being filled with meaningful work. I have time to learn the things I wanted to learn and tend to my garden meticulously. I can slow and enjoy my sights and experiences.

I taught myself to can the pears my mother-in-law shared with me.

Don’t get me wrong, I pay my bills with cash, too. I know my leisure mindset can easily turn into pure chaos when bill reminders get frequent or turn to past due. Gulp! I’m not there yet, and it might not even be in the cards for me, so I’ll panic only as needed. In the meantime, I will stay busy. I really enjoy learning. When will I get another opportunity in my life to evaluate my path with such discretion and analytics? Never again. I hope… I will get my skills aligned with another great job. I just know it. For now, I learn. I have signed up for grant writing classes, and I am looking into an Excel brush-up. I am also almost finished with my herbalism classes as well. Oh yeah, I am also re-learning college Algebra because, why not?

I made a sweet Charcuterie for my crochet get-together ❤️

My mental health is strongly influenced by my body movements throughout the day. I ended up joining a bootcamp style gym, and I push myself and get my heart pumping. I make sure I get about 12,000 steps a day with the bulk of the steps during my hour daily walk. I find that moving my body gets my thoughts moving as well as digestion. So many benefits in a time of great stress. I count on this to get me in a healthy mindset for the day. I also love to do this early in the day, so whatever life has to throw at me is counterbalanced with my morning routine.

A beautiful morning walk into the sunrise

I have been keeping my work schedule. I need to ensure I am keeping myself busy while looking for work. I will work on my computer or my phone and keep a consistent daily agenda of 8 things I would like to accomplish for the day. I put in full effort in all my work, and I hope it shows. I know keeping myself busy like I’m working for someone else will increase my efforts in believing in myself. Some days it feels like I’m playing “office”. I am not getting paid as I know I should but that in turn tells me, I need to keep trucking along. I am following the yellow brick road to my financial freedom; I know it cause my dreams tell me so.

I choose myself every time.

My goals have been getting shined up and more deliberate. I am proving my capabilities and my eagerness to learn every day. I am not going to sit on my hands and let my life blow in the wind. It’s my turn to ride the wind and glide into my next endeavor with my eyes fully open and my mind fully engaged. I hope you find some inspiration to change what you can in the craziness of life. Keep moving forward!

Namaste!

All pictures by Lenape Spiritual Yogi Awakened.

Accepting What Is

Hè, friend!

I have been enjoying taking care of myself and nurturing my soul. I take so much pride in how far I have come in my life. It is surreal to think three years ago I was drowning my sorrows in big schooners of IPAs. Now, I’m grounded and able to face any problem head-on without a second thought. Plus, I have the best circle of people who build me up. I am sharing space with people like me. I am not hanging on to old friends or old memories and feeling stuck in my old ways of coping. I have moved on. I want to keep progressing, and the only way is to stop looking back. My acceptance of my future and how I want my future to look like is my key to my happiness. The rearview mirror isn’t distracting me anymore. My future is in plainview, and it’s mesmerizing!

This garden parsley and fennel face 😂

Spread Love Where Love Is Sparse

Who you were yesterday doesn’t have to define you today unless you want it to. Say that twice. I’m sure depending on who you’re talking to, there will be many opinions of me. Some good, some bad. If I cared about the world’s opinion, I wouldn’t have time to focus on me being my best self. I bring forth my best smiles to frowns. I give hugs for free! I listen intently to anyone willing to give me a friendly conversation. I give, give, give. I don’t expect anything back. I just want anyone I encounter to feel good being them. I want to bring love and care back into the picture. If for one moment strangers become friends and enemies agree to disagree, then the day was pretty great.

Bee nice😍

8 Hugs A Day

I told my Ayurveda teacher how cold I’ve been lately, like, “to the bone chill.” She suggested many scenarios, but lack of loving attention from others struck me deep. I do demand hugs from my family, but I haven’t been present with them. I’ve been soldiering through the muck of life with only me. It was apparent that I needed more community and more time with those I love. That’s my secret recipe to refuel. I was giving, giving, giving, and no one filled me up. I neglected me in a sense. So, my teacher said we need 8 hugs a day. How many hugs do you get a day? Now, that I’m mindful, I aim for 8. Get in those hugs! Lol!

My husband still holds my hand. He takes me on drives so I can see the sunset. That’s love💗

Community

I never know who I am going to meet outside my house. I love volunteering and meeting all the world has to offer. I find people so enchanting, and their stories capture me every time! I do get filled up with love when I see a group of people serving the community. I work hard, planting seeds and growing myself to the woman I see myself as. She’s wise, loving, accountable, trusting, strong. I build these gifts from the people I meet, so thank you🥹

My cuddle buddies 💙❤️

Yogi Outro

We all have gifts. The funnest part of life is finding who you are. My discovery process has been fulfilling and keeps me accountable. I strive each day to take yesterday’s learnings into today’s garden. I don’t have to plant them all. Some seeds are not to grow on but keep to give to someone else. I’m always thinking of others. I’m a nurturer, but not everyone needs me. I learned to back off. Those are my lessons learned. I also make sure I’m getting not only self- love but also accept love from others. Especially those hugs!

Namastè!

All pictures by Lenape Spiritual Yogi Awakened.

Inner Wisdom✔️

Hè, friend!

I think it’s safe to say we are all going through shit. We all have over commitments and piles of people with needs from us. We also have our needs, but where do they go? Oh yeah, on the back burner or straight into the dark realms of “someday”.  I find myself disengaged and overwhelmed in these distractions of daily life. I can’t help the world if my world is heavy. So, now what? Well, after I identify the problem, a solution will slowly work its way into my life. No one is responsible for me and how I feel. I  believe that my desires change due to what shows up in my life. I accept what I have and what I can change. If I cannot have it or change myself to get it, then I do not need it. You feel me?

I recharge outside so I can radiate positivity💖

Know What You Are Digesting

I don’t feed into the hype that doesn’t define who I truly am. I am not an angry person naturally; I cannot listen to the news without the biased news feed pissing me off. So, guess what, I don’t listen. I listen to music and podcasts that shine life into me. I dance instead of fight. I invest in my higher self by feeding myself good nourishment. We digest everything that comes into contact with us. Sights, events, negative self-talk, pollution, SPF, bug spray, toenail polish: you get the point. So, if you are constantly not feeding yourself things that are lighter (comedies, friends that you enjoy, meditation) or brighter (sunshine, standing up for yourself, self-care) you will fall victim to all the heaviness. More is more so that can spill into your relationships with others, work, food, all corners of life. I am just sharing my experience so far. Life is super crazy! One day at a time though…

Thanking God for these 24🕰

Processing Memories

I remember as a kid, I spent a lot of time by myself. I loved to explore nature and found myself at the local nature park every morning. Early! I would wake up and get on my bike and explore. Back then, I was not required to update my parents before I left. I actually had more freedom at that age than when I was a teenager. Another story, though. I remember the smells of Spring, Winter, Fall, Summer. They sing to me in my memory as I stroll through the same area in my 40’s. Memories don’t fade in time. They sit and wait for a chance to shine. I love my memories, even the bad. I spent thousands of dollars to work through the bad ones and changed my perspective. I am no longer a victim. I am a survivor and damn good at my life. CEO **pop that collar**

If you really want to party with me…meet me at the lake:)

Forgive

I will not pretend that forgiveness is easy. I lived with pain, and the pain would make me sad, and I wore a heavy mask of anger. Anger is my secondary emotion. I lost a lot of self-respect due to my anger. It put me in a constant but familiar cycle, and I didn’t know how to pull the brakes and get control of my life. My only life. I learned to be ok with how I turned out. I found beauty in my pain and slowly rebirthed my thoughts. My thoughts had new meaning because they had a goal, an end. I sit with my thoughts a lot. A thought is just a thought until you act, right? I acted my whole life, so why not try something new. Just because someone/something took my trust and shattered boundaries doesn’t mean they/it has to take my power, too. I forgive and move forward. With my newfound knowledge, I steer clear of reoccurance and thrive. Knowledge is power.

Nourishment😍

Yogi Outro

I am so at peace with my weekend plans. No market due to the rain. No swimming due to the rain. No food truck with my bestie due to the rain. I refuse to let things outside of myself set my mood. I can do fun things in the rain. I learned to like new experiences. I find I really like to be rained on and run through puddles unexpectedly! This is fucking life! Nothing is going to ever go the way I want it to go. I learn to live in the chaos and enjoy myself. I will be fine dancing in the rain and cuddling my sweet girl, Alex, when the thunder is a bit too loud. I bring comfort to myself so I can share my love with my loves. I am powerful and in control.

Wanishi!

All pictures by Lenape Spiritual Yogi Awakened.

Building Community

Hè, friend!

I missed a Wednesday post, so welcome to a Friday blog catch-up! There is a lot of life happening over here, and I feel like I’m watching a movie of someone else’s life. I am not accustomed to doors opening, but here I am. Me. Proving to myself, that as I grow into my safe container that whatever part of me that spills out, is still safe. It’s OK for me to walk into the unknown and find out. I’m a curious soul, and I really find people so interesting when we are together. I love my yoga community, and when we get together, magic happens, and we learn so much from each other! It’s a weekly meet up and building community is so fucking healthy!!❤️‍🔥

He was about a foot away from his other snail friend. Community.

Shed who you think you are for who you want to be

We all have an idea of what we think people will be like based on looks alone. Our opinions are so vast apart or cloned copycats that are only created from experiences, right? Or hearsay? Whatever the reason, it’s not true until you find out. When I made myself vulnerable and took my ego out of the equation, I became flawed but yearned to share my experiences. I built my confidence with my group. There is beauty in pain when we can see why we had to experience it in the first place. I am perfectly imperfect, and I’ll rarely be on time to most, but these things make me, me. The more I try not to be me, life gets messy.

My husband helps me cook, which really helps me. Community.

Know your boundaries

I love being with my people. I also love being by myself. There is a balance, though, and very fine lines that can make or break me. I pick up on others’ emotions easily. I really do not enjoy being dragged down, so my choices of people have drastically changed. We all have problems, trust. I keep my real ride or die circle small, but it’s solid, and I feel grounded enough to keep building my confidence with others with boundaries.

Yoga with my buddy. Community.

Get a new hobby, gain a new friend

I know that as I get older, I find I have a lot of hobbies! One thing leads me down a rabbit hole to more things. My hobbies keep me balanced in all the seasons. Through these hobbies, I’ve met so many like-minded people with dreams and aspirations similar to me. I admire all the people I meet, and when I’ve had my fill of interacting, I leave. I honor myself, and I try not to overdo anything. Balance is Bliss 🩷

I enjoy foraging with my friends! Community.

Yogi wrap up

I heard Nate Ortiz on the Highest Self Podcast: 442 Why You Have Digestive/ Hormonal Issues – The Spiritual Causes. He is amazing, and he inspired me by introducing me to be ok wanting to emulate another human. If I want success, I need to pretend I have it, dress like it, present my best self in this image. In a healthy way, of course. No stalking or breaking the law. Just an idea to help manifest my life of my dreams! I learn so much about me from my community! Small steps will get me to my highest self🤩

Namastè!

All pictures by Lenape Spiritual Yogi Awakened.