free mindset

Life Update

/ Self-Diagnosed Yogi / Leave a comment

He, friend!

It’s been a lot these past few months. I lost my sweet Alex the day after my last post. I lost a whole best friend that day, and it tore open all my wounds. I felt so lost and hurt that she died alone. I never thought it would get better. Grief is a bitch! You never know how it will hurt until you are there. I decided to get a new dog and I really feel Alex sent me that message to my brain right after she died. I cried all the time for the first few days with my new dog, Max. I bet he was so confused to the emotions I carried. Plus, he was so new to me. He keeps me busy, and I love him so much! I love learning how our relationship grows, together, as a new family.

Alex smiling and Aiko chillin vibes✌🏽

I lost my job and still haven’t found a new one, but I am keeping myself so busy. I am building a new herbal adaptogenic drink business from the ground up. I have no idea what I am doing, but I am going to try. I am really enjoying this process. It is making me vulnerable, but I am building new relationships and getting excellent advice from the messages that visit me. I have reached out to my business friends to get some answers to my worries, and everyone says, “Just do it!” I have an army of support and I cannot believe that this former alcoholic, lost to the bottle, has people rooting me on. I really love, love, love my friends and family! Theeee best!

Does anybody else bathe their dogs in the sink? He’s so cute🤩

I do not have all the answers, and I have been straying from my usual grounding exercises, like yoga and meditating. I have been bringing back my morning saging and meditation because I find myself floating around like a leaf with no purpose! For real! I brought myself back with my own knowledge about me and found myself way ahead this week than I was last week! It is mind-blowing why I stray from it. I mean, quieting my brain when I have a million and one things to get done? No way! But, yes way is the WAY!! I am shouting from the top of my meditating yoga mouth. LOL!

This guy keeps me on my toes!! Maximilian💝

My body craves movement every day. If I ignore it, I get pretty stiff and way sorer than my heaviest lifting day. I find myself spending at least 100 steps to work out the kink in my right knee. My back takes some side to side and front to back stretches and hopefully, me and my back are on the same network, and I do not end up with another ailment from stretching the wrong way😂 That is why I am working on getting to yoga class. I find a lot of reasons why I can not get up and go….like, right now but “I’m writing this blog.” It is on my radar and may make an entrance next week or even tomorrow. All I need is the seed and the nurturing I give takes care of my growing 🙂 I am in seed stage after being hacked up from a weed whacker, I will get back to me soon enough.

Forever my sidekicks 💖

I enjoy planning future fun with my non-furry friends. I just had a friend come over and organize my pantry last week. She is beginning her business adventure too, so we have so much to learn from each other and she has been my best friend since 9! I have a pottery painting date and lunch dates over the next few weeks, and I enjoy spending time creating relationships and trust. I love learning from my friends and getting different perspectives. Plus, we are getting into a “giving” season, so people are just seasonally very nice. Take advantage! Make a new friend, and who knows, they may just be what you need in this crazy place called LIFE!

This was Alex when we first met😍

I am finding my path in the dark. I was intimidated to act on my dreams and now I am living my dreams. I have freedom and space and that is the recipe I needed to come out of my shell. I guess where this road leads, I have no idea. I do know I want to keep going because this might just be the road that will bring me to my next chapter. I also found out I am going to be a grandma! Not just once…but twice:)

Wanishi! (Thank you)

All pictures are a tribute to my furry friends that impact my life daily💝

All pictures by Lenape Spiritual Yogi Awakened.

Dillema’ing

/ Self-Diagnosed Yogi / Leave a comment

Hi, yogi!

How’s your summer been? I have been enjoying the hot summer days and getting lost in my books. What a summer it has been! The company I worked for over eight years lost their fight with finances and declared bankruptcy. I was tossed into a very unexpected dilemma. I am still dilemma’ing over here, but I know all the kinks will work itself out. I trust the end will be exactly what I need. I am not in panic mode, but the newfound space in my days is slowly being filled with meaningful work. I have time to learn the things I wanted to learn and tend to my garden meticulously. I can slow and enjoy my sights and experiences.

I taught myself to can the pears my mother-in-law shared with me.

Don’t get me wrong, I pay my bills with cash, too. I know my leisure mindset can easily turn into pure chaos when bill reminders get frequent or turn to past due. Gulp! I’m not there yet, and it might not even be in the cards for me, so I’ll panic only as needed. In the meantime, I will stay busy. I really enjoy learning. When will I get another opportunity in my life to evaluate my path with such discretion and analytics? Never again. I hope… I will get my skills aligned with another great job. I just know it. For now, I learn. I have signed up for grant writing classes, and I am looking into an Excel brush-up. I am also almost finished with my herbalism classes as well. Oh yeah, I am also re-learning college Algebra because, why not?

I made a sweet Charcuterie for my crochet get-together ❤️

My mental health is strongly influenced by my body movements throughout the day. I ended up joining a bootcamp style gym, and I push myself and get my heart pumping. I make sure I get about 12,000 steps a day with the bulk of the steps during my hour daily walk. I find that moving my body gets my thoughts moving as well as digestion. So many benefits in a time of great stress. I count on this to get me in a healthy mindset for the day. I also love to do this early in the day, so whatever life has to throw at me is counterbalanced with my morning routine.

A beautiful morning walk into the sunrise

I have been keeping my work schedule. I need to ensure I am keeping myself busy while looking for work. I will work on my computer or my phone and keep a consistent daily agenda of 8 things I would like to accomplish for the day. I put in full effort in all my work, and I hope it shows. I know keeping myself busy like I’m working for someone else will increase my efforts in believing in myself. Some days it feels like I’m playing “office”. I am not getting paid as I know I should but that in turn tells me, I need to keep trucking along. I am following the yellow brick road to my financial freedom; I know it cause my dreams tell me so.

I choose myself every time.

My goals have been getting shined up and more deliberate. I am proving my capabilities and my eagerness to learn every day. I am not going to sit on my hands and let my life blow in the wind. It’s my turn to ride the wind and glide into my next endeavor with my eyes fully open and my mind fully engaged. I hope you find some inspiration to change what you can in the craziness of life. Keep moving forward!

Namaste!

All pictures by Lenape Spiritual Yogi Awakened.

Learning to Love the Pauses

/ Self-Diagnosed Yogi / Leave a comment

Hè, friend!

My days are filling with lots of movement. The longer days energize me with stamina and curiosity. I am in my third week of 5:30 am bootcamp. Just two weeks ago, I was so sore that all I could do was move slowly and awkwardly. All that came out of my mouth was,  “I’m so sore.” Well, good thing my body did what it does to repair the brokenness. I trust the process and understand that after boot camp and 12,000 steps a day, I’m allowed rest. My body needs restoration and salty tub soaks, slower evenings with abhyanga or self-massage, and loving massages from my husband. I’m learning to love the pauses because then healing will take place.

The rain carries so much more than water. The sound is the most mesmerizing to me.

Listen with Intent

More is more. We don’t always need more, we need to learn to listen to our bodies. I find slowing down to meditate gets all my senses in line with what is really going on. It’s my time to gather knowledge and truths. I don’t need to read a magazine or listen to a podcast to know what’s going on in me. Right? So, what feels good to stretch after a grueling workout? Do I need to practice yin yoga? Am I listening to my body’s need or just going through mindless motions? Listening is key to a healthy body mindset.

Yoga and nature create my peace.

Yoga Asanas

I love yoga! Yoga brought me to my core. My purpose in life. How? I know, it’s crazy! Yoga began as a workout, but being in my mind on my mat, reflecting on my day, life, and worldly views, entranced me. I became the next victim to the power of yoga. My curiosity kept me coming back to my mat. What will I find out today? How will my body adjust to these new fruitations? My mind is a sponge, and I want all of it! I’m starting to read about yoga philosophy, and this old knowledge feels alive inside of me. I carry it in all my conversations with myself and others. Even my yoga studio offers conversations on Thursdays.  Heart love💝

I get up and move every morning, rain or shine.

Start My Day Right

Oh, gotta love that morning routine! I am  lazy to get out of my bed. I like to play my day in my head while my husband takes up space in our bathroom. Anything to enjoy being in my haven. I get up and kiss him good morning as I make my way into the bathroom. I brush my teeth, scrape my tongue, wash my face, use my homemade Chamomile toner, massage my homemade calendula shea butter into my face utilizing gua sha, and salt rinse and oil my nose. I get dressed for my workout and get to stepping. When I get home, I eliminate, shower, and abhyanga my poor muscles. Depending on my hunger, I will eat or get away with a hot tea to begin my next session of my day.

Anything can be nourishing if you can be mindful.

Mindful Movement

I love my body so much. It took some time for me to say it, let alone write about it. My body was home to my three babies. My body endured pain, life, regrets, and abuse. It was me who blocked it out. If I can love others, I sure as hell can love myself. If I’m moving with purpose I can tend to my body’s needs and get into my day helping others.

Yogi Outro

I am enjoying the longer days, and the heat is welcoming to my cooler body temps. I find the line so very thin between moving my body all day and rest. Am I being lazy by resting? Am I lazy because I want to read in my hammock and enjoy the cool morning breeze? Maybe, but I have to be ok with it. I love to cut corners so I can have my lazy, restorative practices. It’s a balance and going, going, going will lead to burn out. I am learning to enjoy the pauses and enjoy watching my seeds grow.

Namastè!

All pictures by Lenape Spiritual Yogi Awakened.

Accepting What Is

/ Self-Diagnosed Yogi / Leave a comment

Hè, friend!

I have been enjoying taking care of myself and nurturing my soul. I take so much pride in how far I have come in my life. It is surreal to think three years ago I was drowning my sorrows in big schooners of IPAs. Now, I’m grounded and able to face any problem head-on without a second thought. Plus, I have the best circle of people who build me up. I am sharing space with people like me. I am not hanging on to old friends or old memories and feeling stuck in my old ways of coping. I have moved on. I want to keep progressing, and the only way is to stop looking back. My acceptance of my future and how I want my future to look like is my key to my happiness. The rearview mirror isn’t distracting me anymore. My future is in plainview, and it’s mesmerizing!

This garden parsley and fennel face 😂

Spread Love Where Love Is Sparse

Who you were yesterday doesn’t have to define you today unless you want it to. Say that twice. I’m sure depending on who you’re talking to, there will be many opinions of me. Some good, some bad. If I cared about the world’s opinion, I wouldn’t have time to focus on me being my best self. I bring forth my best smiles to frowns. I give hugs for free! I listen intently to anyone willing to give me a friendly conversation. I give, give, give. I don’t expect anything back. I just want anyone I encounter to feel good being them. I want to bring love and care back into the picture. If for one moment strangers become friends and enemies agree to disagree, then the day was pretty great.

Bee nice😍

8 Hugs A Day

I told my Ayurveda teacher how cold I’ve been lately, like, “to the bone chill.” She suggested many scenarios, but lack of loving attention from others struck me deep. I do demand hugs from my family, but I haven’t been present with them. I’ve been soldiering through the muck of life with only me. It was apparent that I needed more community and more time with those I love. That’s my secret recipe to refuel. I was giving, giving, giving, and no one filled me up. I neglected me in a sense. So, my teacher said we need 8 hugs a day. How many hugs do you get a day? Now, that I’m mindful, I aim for 8. Get in those hugs! Lol!

My husband still holds my hand. He takes me on drives so I can see the sunset. That’s love💗

Community

I never know who I am going to meet outside my house. I love volunteering and meeting all the world has to offer. I find people so enchanting, and their stories capture me every time! I do get filled up with love when I see a group of people serving the community. I work hard, planting seeds and growing myself to the woman I see myself as. She’s wise, loving, accountable, trusting, strong. I build these gifts from the people I meet, so thank you🥹

My cuddle buddies 💙❤️

Yogi Outro

We all have gifts. The funnest part of life is finding who you are. My discovery process has been fulfilling and keeps me accountable. I strive each day to take yesterday’s learnings into today’s garden. I don’t have to plant them all. Some seeds are not to grow on but keep to give to someone else. I’m always thinking of others. I’m a nurturer, but not everyone needs me. I learned to back off. Those are my lessons learned. I also make sure I’m getting not only self- love but also accept love from others. Especially those hugs!

Namastè!

All pictures by Lenape Spiritual Yogi Awakened.

Inner Wisdom✔️

/ Self-Diagnosed Yogi / Leave a comment

Hè, friend!

I think it’s safe to say we are all going through shit. We all have over commitments and piles of people with needs from us. We also have our needs, but where do they go? Oh yeah, on the back burner or straight into the dark realms of “someday”.  I find myself disengaged and overwhelmed in these distractions of daily life. I can’t help the world if my world is heavy. So, now what? Well, after I identify the problem, a solution will slowly work its way into my life. No one is responsible for me and how I feel. I  believe that my desires change due to what shows up in my life. I accept what I have and what I can change. If I cannot have it or change myself to get it, then I do not need it. You feel me?

I recharge outside so I can radiate positivity💖

Know What You Are Digesting

I don’t feed into the hype that doesn’t define who I truly am. I am not an angry person naturally; I cannot listen to the news without the biased news feed pissing me off. So, guess what, I don’t listen. I listen to music and podcasts that shine life into me. I dance instead of fight. I invest in my higher self by feeding myself good nourishment. We digest everything that comes into contact with us. Sights, events, negative self-talk, pollution, SPF, bug spray, toenail polish: you get the point. So, if you are constantly not feeding yourself things that are lighter (comedies, friends that you enjoy, meditation) or brighter (sunshine, standing up for yourself, self-care) you will fall victim to all the heaviness. More is more so that can spill into your relationships with others, work, food, all corners of life. I am just sharing my experience so far. Life is super crazy! One day at a time though…

Thanking God for these 24🕰

Processing Memories

I remember as a kid, I spent a lot of time by myself. I loved to explore nature and found myself at the local nature park every morning. Early! I would wake up and get on my bike and explore. Back then, I was not required to update my parents before I left. I actually had more freedom at that age than when I was a teenager. Another story, though. I remember the smells of Spring, Winter, Fall, Summer. They sing to me in my memory as I stroll through the same area in my 40’s. Memories don’t fade in time. They sit and wait for a chance to shine. I love my memories, even the bad. I spent thousands of dollars to work through the bad ones and changed my perspective. I am no longer a victim. I am a survivor and damn good at my life. CEO **pop that collar**

If you really want to party with me…meet me at the lake:)

Forgive

I will not pretend that forgiveness is easy. I lived with pain, and the pain would make me sad, and I wore a heavy mask of anger. Anger is my secondary emotion. I lost a lot of self-respect due to my anger. It put me in a constant but familiar cycle, and I didn’t know how to pull the brakes and get control of my life. My only life. I learned to be ok with how I turned out. I found beauty in my pain and slowly rebirthed my thoughts. My thoughts had new meaning because they had a goal, an end. I sit with my thoughts a lot. A thought is just a thought until you act, right? I acted my whole life, so why not try something new. Just because someone/something took my trust and shattered boundaries doesn’t mean they/it has to take my power, too. I forgive and move forward. With my newfound knowledge, I steer clear of reoccurance and thrive. Knowledge is power.

Nourishment😍

Yogi Outro

I am so at peace with my weekend plans. No market due to the rain. No swimming due to the rain. No food truck with my bestie due to the rain. I refuse to let things outside of myself set my mood. I can do fun things in the rain. I learned to like new experiences. I find I really like to be rained on and run through puddles unexpectedly! This is fucking life! Nothing is going to ever go the way I want it to go. I learn to live in the chaos and enjoy myself. I will be fine dancing in the rain and cuddling my sweet girl, Alex, when the thunder is a bit too loud. I bring comfort to myself so I can share my love with my loves. I am powerful and in control.

Wanishi!

All pictures by Lenape Spiritual Yogi Awakened.

Spring Detox

/ Self-Diagnosed Yogi / Leave a comment

He, friend!

I am enjoying the last few weeks of Spring and I wanted to share my detox plan that works for me to get my body boosted with fresh spring nutrients and slowly challenge my digestive system to digest fresh nettles and dandelion greens. I love all the spring herbs green onion, cilantro, parsley, garlic mustard. The best morning juice is green and spicy and gets my digestion fired up and ready to digest lunch. I also get to re-evaluate what I’ve been doing the past season and analyze what needs to go and what can stay or be tweaked. I include things I’m reading, listening to, and watching on TV. I absolutely adore my much-needed Spring detox.

Alëmatae- flower beginning to bloom🤩

Morning Routine

I find the morning time to be the best time for me to get my heart rate up and my body moved. I also get my daily steps completed before 8am. For my morning nutrition, I get the kettle going and make a big 32 oz hot tea with lemon and ginger. I will sip on this throughout the morning. I typically make 2 big batches of juice, one is a green juice with cucumber, celery, green apple, spinach, kale, ginger, lemon. The 2nd juice is beets, oranges, turmeric, ginger. I will choose either juice for my breakfast while I work and get through my morning. I make sure I get moving during my morning break if I’m working. Or get outside and water my garden.

Fresh green juice beams me up with nutritional power and gets my tummy grumbling💝

Lunch

I love a green lunch! My body craves the bitter greens and I even allow a small, sweet dessert when my digestion is at its peak. I have been loving a good buddha bowl. The Sunday before my work week, I will cook lentils or beans that have been soaked for 24 hours. I roast a mix of veggies I am craving that week. I love a good lemony tahini sauce and/or a pesto (garlic mustard, mustard greens, or beet greens). I will see what herbs I have ready in my garden and place them in my fridge in a plastic bag covered jar. This is the quickest throw together lunch that keeps me in check and temptation to eat processed foods at bay. I even make big batches of Spring soup with nettles and freeze leftovers in individual bags I can defrost in a pinch.

I make sure when it’s time to eat that I am centered and focused on me eating and tasting every bite and fully chew, chew, chew. Mindful eating is amazing. I mean, when is the last time you ate in silence and ate intentionally? Try it on and see what changes for you.

This is not my typical meal, but I sat under this oak tree and ate in silence, enjoying the view🥹 mindful eating wins every time!

Dinner

I like to make sure I am eating while it’s still daylight. I also make sure I am eating small. I know, I know. It’s so different how Americans are taught to eat. We have a huge dinner meal and make sure everyone is seated to eat at the table. Iced drinks, wine, beer, too much water. We get stuffed and watch TV or find something to run to instead of allowing our body time to digest. I get it, I have so much I love to do but I have to honor myself. What isn’t completed by dinner time can wait, if not, see what you can do before the sun goes down and eat dinner outside while watching the sun disappear. I enjoy a salad or soup or both! I just limit the portion and eat until I’m content. I like to eat around 5pm. I used to run straight to yoga but since my yoga is done in the morning recently, I have time to slow down.

I like to connect with my plants I water at night. I love to enjoy my backyard and read in my hammock swing. I find nature to cure me from my typical boredom of not doing anything. I allow myself this time to do nothing. I schedule it and find comfort in my backyard.

Yogi Outro

I feel the heat of the summer getting closer. I will be busy moving my body and keeping my mind in check. Digesting thoughts and experiences of the day are crucial to keeping me open and flowing in a flourishing state. I have fell off my daily journalling and I plan on getting my habit back in motion. I find as the seasons change, so does my digestion and what I need to eat. It’s always best to eat in season and that is exactly what my body craves. I feel my digestion kick start and I can feel when the food leaves my stomach! It’s amazing to be so intune with my body and learn what happens when I slow down and digest. Happy Spring cleaning!

Namastè!

All pictures by Lenape Spiritual Yogi Awakened.

Broken Chains

/ Self-Diagnosed Yogi / 2 Comments

Hè, friend!

I had a HUGE release last month when I was driving. You just never know when something will come to the surface. It was one thought leading to the next and BAM I’m balling. I felt so amazing afterward and slept so well. I found the peace I’ve been seeking. I also used my friend, Jamelle @barerootsenergy, for an amazing reiki session to help heal me and get bottled up emotions flowing freely. 3 years ago, I would’ve held that emotion back. I was bottled so tightly with past bullshit that that release (2 years ago) was the most life changing. It was so freeing to have no boundaries up when it came time to let go. I let go of anger, sadness, regrets, broken promises, all my life’s work up until that point was definitely under pressure. I have broken chains by my feet and a full heart. Who can I help heal today?

I bought a popcorn plant that smells like buttery popcorn😍

I have been so curious about my mindset lately that anyone I talk to has heard me ask, “Why are you scared of spiders?” I truly don’t remember my fear origin of spiders. I’ve never played with one or had a spider tell me to fear it. I know this to be someone else’s fear they passed down to me. I like the helpful information, like poke berries are poisonous and stay away from poison hemlock, the name says it all. I was a child who loved tall grass. I would run in it, roll in it. What a grand time I had. I want to do this again, I want this freedom without fear, but also without being hurt. I am coexisting with all of life, all the living things, and I respect my place. I am not superior but lateral. Someone always wants to rule, but my rule is respect. I can’t fail with respect in my heart.

My backyard oasis💝

I gave birth to my last child almost 15 years ago. I had an IUD put in as soon as I could. I finally had it removed for the 3rd time and not replaced. My body was able to naturally detox from the synthetic hormones, and boy, was that fun. Not! I have never felt the surge of dancing with my emotions like that. I was happy one moment, crying my eyes out the next, I felt broken and attacked. I tried to communicate, but no one was around me. That might’ve been a lie, I told myself while I was riding the emotional roller coaster. I got through it. Those were only 15 years of built-up energy, I’m so glad my whole body can communicate within itself again. I am FREE, and those broken chains by my feet can be free too.

My daily walks help keep me grounded and in shape. 10K plus steps a day!

I don’t let anyone come and tell me who I am. I am fully aware I used to live by other people’s experiences. I would read how one food, way of eating, and how one wakes in the morning is the epic beginning to one’s day. Well, more often than not, I would store that information away. One day, when I want to save myself, I’ll know exactly what to do. Right? I mean, we have a pill for everything now. All these labels were invented to grab your attention over the next bottle. I began experimenting with all this knowledge I picked up. Some ideas were in agreement with my body, but did I thrive? What makes me ME? I change every day, and I learned to listen to myself. My husband laughs all the time when I say, “I know what’s best for me.” But I do!😉

Nature is amazing!

Yogi Outro✌🏽

I really enjoy learning! I’m always looking for opportunities to fill my senses with pleasure! I love feeding the birds and watching them. I will be outside every chance I get! Ask my family! Lol! I want the experiences of spring to engulf my nose with the wetness of the earth, I want to feel the wind cool my sweaty skin, I want the brightness of the sun to bring light to the magnificent colors of spring and fill my heart with prana, my ears listen to the sweet songs of the diversity of animals coexisting in my little backyard, I can’t forget tasting the bitter greens popping up to help my liver heal after detoxing every experience I’ve had up to this point. I am so very blessed, and my life is amazing! Don’t fit in someone else’s limits. Have healthy conversations, but know this is your life, and as you make big decisions and learn, life gets less complicated cause you set your life on your terms. No one else’s, break those chains!

Namastè🙏🏽

All pictures by Lenape Spiritual Yogi Awakened.