Spring is really showing out this season. We had wet, rainy days, cold days, blustery windy days, hot, sunny days, and chilly nights. My spring reset is officially fully integrated, and I am excited to see the sights with my fully functional senses. I would agree that April is flying by! I made an intention of posting every day, but I found it wasn’t beneficial to my life. I do want to share every day, but some days I get so busy, I forget. I also find myself in a repeating thought process. It’s where I am sometimes. I found myself in a familiar pattern of not finishing things. I will have big ideas and big plans, but I fall short and completely stop. I then move on to the next thing to partially build.
4/20 plant potting party!
I noticed this huge pattern in my life. A huge hindrance and an elephant in the room I called ‘normal’. Now that I see it, what am I going to do about it, you ask? Well, I am taking big plans into action by building my lemonade business up. I began my week of research and writing and planning. I’m quiet on the internet, but things are manifesting over here! I want to see this out and invest my best in myself. If the business fails, I will take what I need and build it better the next time. If I thrive, I will share my knowledge as seeds for the next person. I am not a gatekeeper, I share. Knowledge is power, and I feel it in my soul that I am on the right path no matter the outcome.
Whatever I say now are my plans will change. I will change as a person as my business grows. This is the natural progression in life. I know what it feels like to be wanting more and have no idea how to get there. I just left an outgrown garden bed and found one with companion plants that will ensure my survival and show me how to thrive. One day, I will need to change out of this garden bed but for now, it’s home. My roots are getting stronger as I learn to navigate through these unknown times. My feet will not fail me now.
It’s been pretty quiet over here. I have been taking some time out to decompress and reset. I am ready to resume my path, and I am contemplating how my mornings will look beginning next week. I have new focus and direction to entertain me while the kinks of my life work themselves out. I will finish what I started and noticed I’m falling back into a pattern of a bunch of half-finished shit. Ew. I want to manifest myself as a finisher and even better as a successful businesswoman. I have saved millions for big corporations, and now it’s time for me to use my power for me. I will determine my successes, and this will be such an amazing time to learn and make money while learning on the job.
What is a manifestor?
A do-er. The seer from manifesto to end-O. Me. Hi, I am a manifestor of my life dreams and I turn them into reality. I know what things make me sing and I know what the beat of my heart longs for. I am excellent at solving my own problems and keeping moving forward. My dreams become tangible, and I keep manifesting my dreams.
Make a detailed list.
How can I know what I really want if I don’t write it down? I get excited seeing new monthly goals typed out. It makes them real. I mean, how can I talk about my future plans with my future customers if I’m not planning? Duh! I love planning, it’s acting on those plans that’s my downfall. I find myself in too many rooms and not finished painting one of them. I think this might be mindless sabotage pattern that I need to break. I see how this sneaky little, big, huge problem snaked its way into my sober life. I quit alcohol so this is nothing. Here goes nothing.
Do I need to break a pattern?
First of all, I will need to be the one to recognize it. Then, I have to agree to change its form. I find value in boundaries and making sure I trust where I am. Do I need armor? Do I need my defenses up? I like to fully understand where I am in my feelings. How do I feel? That is a multiple, daily question. For real. Next, is the breakthrough question if there is value in change. Sometimes awareness plants a seed and eventually a new thought pattern can grow from that. It just takes time to see where growth takes place. Growth isn’t necessarily lowering the gates, just awareness.
Small wins!
I will celebrate every day. There is a lot that goes into my human day of life. I take for granted waking up. I mean, that is a huge blessing! I have a lot of classmates that didn’t make it to my age so prayers up! I know success because my whole life has been just that. I know I cannot lose when my mind is 100% in the game and I really believe I am on the right, successful path that I am supposed to be on.
How has the weekend been treating you? Yesterday was beautiful and hot! I was able to spend some time catching up on some business ends and met up with my dear friend. We talked nonstop for 5 hours. Oh, I needed that! Girl time. We went to a pow wow, and I was looking for new earrings and a ribbon skirt but left empty-handed somehow.
Today, I decided to get on a reading schedule. My plan is to educate myself by reading more non-fiction books. I’m starting with “The Emerald Tablet of Hermes” by Hermes Trismegistus. I am a truth seeker. I think the very seed was planted when I decided that. I have been watching this seed bloom and begin my spiritual awakening in 2020.
A spiritual awakening is when the NPC (non playable character) decides one day to do something different. I stepped out of line and decided to go outside the drawn line. I began to question a lot. I decided I would unlearn and reset seeking only the truth. Then, Ayurveda came. I have never felt so supported by something I only just found out about. I wanted it applied to all of my life, but I had no idea how. Well, boom!! Here comes my local yoga studio offering teachings.
Life is amazing when you are really present. Think about when you really wanted something. Did you get it? I do. If I don’t get it, then it wasn’t mine. I understand this. It’s very new, but as soon as I started looking at my life at a 30,000-foot view, I saw. I am just now dipping my toes in the fear pool. I know the only way for me to level up is that I need to do something big. Out of comfort. I will be ok and learn a lot on this new venture.
My safety spot is closing in on me cause I’m getting too big. My ideas need more space and more experience. Even if I fail, I will learn. I just need to keep moving. I hope to see you at the finish line as we conquer these fears.
The tide of troubles is receding. I feel like I’m back in my familiar bubble. What a human experience that this has been, and it’s crazy to believe all of this is in my head. I mean, the facts are the facts, and my experience is basically my reaction to what is. I felt all kinds of things, and all I wanted to do was go back home and find my safety embrace from my husband so I could recharge. I think I tended to my wounds, and now it’s time to get back to my purpose. Not before acknowledging what I learned, though. Let’s get crack-a-lacking!
Practice Patience
I want to start off by saying that I find my patience comes and goes. Somedays I have it and others I don’t. I’m sure deeper delves into my meditations and thought process can unravel some of this, but until then, I will be a bit like Kansas weather, unpredictable. Let’s just say that last week taught me to have patience on a busy life day or lose control. Naturally, I didn’t want to be patient because I had other things to do than to tend to this issue. I mean, what was my option? Pull my hair out and stress about something out of my control? Hell no! I’ll take a side of patience with my peace. Thank you. I guess I can accept change pretty quickly and not feel like I lost. This brings me to my next learning…
Accepting this will be enough to nourish my body❤️
Acceptance
If I could design my life the way I wanted it, I’m about 1,000% sure I’d be dead by now. Yup, me in my teens was pretty reckless. So, there is my point. I don’t believe I have the mind capacity to fully understand that every move I make creates a ripple in the way life happens for all. Even the things we can not see. I have no idea how to protect what I can not see; therefore, I can not be in charge. I accept what is and do my part in making sure we as humans can keep living and loving on earth. I take in so much peace just letting go of control. Brain tingles.
Mantra
This one is very new to me. I mean, I have heard of them and participated in many opportunities to hear people’s daily mantras to themselves. I am in awe of people highly respecting themselves and having these deep, love infested words that I want to steal. I always felt intimidated to size up that mantra. When in yoga, I mind my mat. That means I do not invest time or thoughts in what the person next to me is doing. It’s the teachers cues, me, my mind, body, soul. So, here I am being sized up by wise words. By someone who found who they are. I admire that wisdom. I know that when I start speaking to myself more often in front of the mirror, I cry. I cry because I believe what I am saying, and they are very kind words. I want to represent those words; I hope I do.
Yogi Outro
Everyone knows love lives in the heart. It is felt in the heart the most for me as well as heartbreak. It all makes sense. When I need more love in my heart I like to connect with really red foods. I like to believe it helps and if it doesn’t oh well, I love beets, steak, and raspberries all the same 🙂 Life is crazy and full of surprises. I know Cry Fest 2024 is a continuation and I feel better prepared to weather a storm when I am fully present in myself. I used to carry all of my worries, traumas, fears in my body and buried them deep. I work out my issues as soon as I can. I just don’t want to be back in that headspace. I’m still watching the seeds planted two years ago flourish. This is an amazing life and I’ll take the bad with the good cause there is nothing like living.
Happy Friday! I can’t believe I made it! This week has been insane and somehow I’m here! All I want to do is rest and pamper myself. I feel a pedicure and massage coming. Oh, joy! What are your weekend plans?
My weekend will be full of my best girlfriends and I sharing conversations and lots of laughter. I miss my friends so much! I don’t know about you, but there is a certain energy with uplifting women. I get recharged so I can continue sharing my gifts. I get to say out loud my goals and not be discouraged by upstaging. We are on our own journeys, but damn, magic happens with my girls. I love them💞
I’m ending my cleanse after today. I seriously will continue the light, early dinner because that wake-up call is early, and I like this new pep to my step. It’s nice and light and full of energy! “Snap your fingers, do your step,” Lil John.
I don’t have many pictures to share, but I will tomorrow! This week was about survival, and well, now it’s time to party 🥳
I had a great sleep last night and woke up full of energy and light on my feet. That is really odd considering I ate way less than I have, ever in my days. Unless I was sick. I am feeling pretty good today. It’s only 5am but who am I to block this productivity? I guess a fast-mimicking cleanse brings good medicine for me. I only have 2 more days to go. I feel the natural flow of cleansing to be rhythmic as it invades my body, space, and mind. Today I will share the lessons of unpacking my shit.
Lesson #1: Clean, Tidy Spaces
We have been upgrading our carpet and with new changes we have to get into the deep corners that are not touched to clean house. This has been wonderful to get rid of things in our bedroom. I have so much space and do not plan on putting something else in its place. It will just be an empty space now. Beautiful and purposeful. I want my bedroom to be a decompression tank for me and my husband. No piles of junk and extra stuff with no home to share my space with. Everything has a home and if it does not. Do I need it? Stay tuned on our upgrades sometime this summer.
Lesson #2: Light Dinner
I am not one to know what a “light” dinner is before Ayurveda came into my life. It took me even a few years after to fully understand what a light dinner does for me. Even cutting a regular meal in half is considered lighter. I am waking up feeling light and energized even more. I feel my body wringing out from all the processed foods and gunk I have exposed myself to. This is exhilarating to say the least! This is my only body and I have goals to live a long time and hug my family.
Lesson #3: Adequate Sleep
For me, I need to be in bed by 9:30 PM. No exceptions! If I want to wake refreshed and full of purpose, then bedtime is important. I spent many, many nights up at 11pm. Shoot, we used to eat dinner around 8 pm! That is crazy to me now! LOL! Me and my husband agree, going to bed early and waking early is a huge part of who we have become. I love getting older with this man! We sync up as we age. I can suggest a good, solid night routine. What are 3 things you absolutely love to do to care for you? I start with a decompressing bath with candles and an amazing book. The warm ambiance sets the tone. I oil myself up with my herby potions and get me a hot nightcap drink going. I will settle in bed with my journal and/or book in my peaceful space.
Lesson #4: Connecting Mind, Body, Soul
I am a sucker for yoga! It gets my mind off its usual role of survival, and I can connect my mind to my body and breath. Seriously, how often do you consider your breath? Do you notice how fast it can be when you are stressed? It’s not fully expressional and short. Imagine breathing like that all the time. You don’t use it, you lose it. I notice as my loved one’s ages their breath becomes shallower. I practice my full yogic breathing daily. That is a deep loving inhale in three parts: chest, diaphragm, and belly. It is a practice and accepting where we are with it now is love. Love yourself and keep going! Whatever the flavor, being mindful to moving the body daily is key to a healthy mindset.
Lesson #5: Community
There are people just like me, that are curious with change. I am attracting people to me just by being me. I love to engage with people and share stories. There are so many groups I become a part of and I am gifted new friendships. I am always busy but most of my time is spent alone. I am changing this and getting involved daily. If I have extra time, I will volunteer and get my face out in public. I notice a lot of the same faces in my community activities. I love being with people and being around the right people is healing for me.
Yogi Outro:
I am finding my space to be less confusing and more welcoming. I have thinned out my bookshelf even and donated some good reads. I love this season because it forces me to look at things I have neglected. Spring cleaning is epic! Last year, in my garden, I didn’t take the time to properly add nutrients back into the soil. My garden paid for my decision and I had a small harvest because of it. Lesson learned! I am just like my garden. If I take my time before growing season to ensure my body is detoxed and ready for work, then I will be MVP. I will be unstoppable with hitting my goals!
I want you to know that I appreciate you showing up to read my blog. I never know what I am going to blog about and write until something catches. I go through a lot of life each day and just realized how lonely I am. I never would have thought that I could be feeling this way, but here I am. I have lots of connections, but I may not be connecting as much as I need. This is great information for me because this is something I can work on now!
Over the weekend I went alone to a Pysanky class. I made so many connections just laughing at our waxing skills.
My friends are my world! We can go long stretches and when we connect, hours of laughing and catching up! I missed a few friend catch ups this week due to unfortunate gifts from the universe but in all actuality, they may be considered blessings because I have found a huge hinderance in my life and a solution all in one day. I must be a wizard, but I will really find out if I can get through this crazy week in one piece!
One thing me and my friends like to do is catch up over food! We will order 10 things from the menu and fill up our table and get a taste of the many dishes in front of us. You can catch us walking around downtown, taking in the sights and music. Dancing is always fun too! I haven’t gone out dancing in a long time since my bedtime has been quite early lately. I can not turn down a good girl date, though.
I have a friend filled weekend planned and I cannot wait! My human connections keep me sane. I can connect with someone who knows and cares about me. Plus, being around other women is very connecting because we are on the same level. Survival. Navigators of life. We are a strong, lively bunch and very much managers of our teams. I just love my friends and I love making new ones too.
Let’s let this week bring us bountiful blessings of human connections! I know we are halfway through these 7 days but that gives us a few more days to get flowing in conversations. How many friends do you call or video chat with monthly? Do you prefer in face connections or online? Are you the advice giver or advice taker? Let’s get talking 🙂
I have been on a wild roller coaster of a day! I just kept moving forward and accepting what is. I plan on meditating tonight just to find my mind. Today proves how little control I have over my life. I can not make my body accept anything it doesn’t want to. I can’t force insurance companies to pay what they say they will pay. I certainly can not speed up slow traffic that takes 1.5 hours to travel 20 miles. My evening will be sitting with these new complications and figuring out the best strategy to overcome cause I am an overcomer.
My strong pose, Warrior I💝
I will tend to my night routine after I write this. That will consist of an Epsom bath with an epic CBD rub down. I plan on resting in bed with a good book and will be asleep by 9:30. This is the plan, and however, this pans out is out of my scope. My loving intention is there.
I am hoping to share this not as a negative but as something that is a hindrance for my plans. Maybe my plans weren’t good enough anyway? Maybe it’s Mercury in retrograde or after effects of the solar eclipse? I’m wondering if anyone else has had a crazy few days? Well, I hope tomorrow has its act right. I can only hope, and if not, I know how to tend to my wounds.
I decided to spoil myself with a sunrise surprise show, medicine wheel meditation, a long walk, peaceful yoga practice, and I hung out with my cool, spiritual friends all afternoon laughing and healing. Today was much needed and I feel so full of love. I was able to tend to my garden and pull weeds. I will honor myself every Sunday, all day. A new ritual to add as a “non-negotiable”, meaning I will do this every Sunday.
A huge part of my Sundays is preparing for the week ahead. I plan on starting a fast-mimicking diet. From what I have read from my Ayurveda group I will be consuming 500 – 700 calories a day. This will ensure optimal cleaning of my body as my cells will be entering autophagy. I got the ok from my Dr, so I made my grocery list to get my healing munchies for the week.
I enjoy moving my body and getting outside to enjoy the sweet melodies of the migrated birds. There are birds that sound like dripping water, and I hear some that sound like a kitten meowing. I love witnessing nature with my senses. I found myself soaking up the songs from the trees this morning before the sun rose. I forget how healing it is to be present outside. Fully aware without anyone but me and outside. It’s very grounding and gets me in the right headspace to start my day.
Yoga is my soul’s heartbeat. I miss it after long pauses. I go through seasons making excuses and not making time for it. I never ever regretted a yoga session. I connect my body, mind, and soul. This is so real to me and if I spend a tiny 5 minutes being intentional with my breathing and movements I am revived! The puppet and the puppet master become one mind. I am aware where my body is today, at this moment along with my mind. It’s like a daily checkup for me.
My garden is my joy. I get back what I put in. I tend to the plants, weed, water, prune, de-bug so I can one day harvest and nourish my body. According to Ayurveda, digestion begins when the seed is planted. I planted beets, spinach, kale, sugar snap peas, radishes, lettuce, and onions. I get excited each day to see how much my babies grew.
I love that I have such a community of strong women. I will always treasure my friendships. That’s a huge part of me getting involved in group activities. I never know who I am going to meet and how they will impact my future. So far, I have been on a roll being at the right place, at the right time, with the right people. Women having each other’s back is the hugest tidal wave of energy so be aware of some crazy exciting movement. Nothing will be the same.
It’s been a lot these past few months. I lost my sweet Alex the day after my last post. I lost a whole best friend that day, and it tore open all my wounds. I felt so lost and hurt that she died alone. I never thought it would get better. Grief is a bitch! You never know how it will hurt until you are there. I decided to get a new dog and I really feel Alex sent me that message to my brain right after she died. I cried all the time for the first few days with my new dog, Max. I bet he was so confused to the emotions I carried. Plus, he was so new to me. He keeps me busy, and I love him so much! I love learning how our relationship grows, together, as a new family.
Alex smiling and Aiko chillin vibes✌🏽
I lost my job and still haven’t found a new one, but I am keeping myself so busy. I am building a new herbal adaptogenic drink business from the ground up. I have no idea what I am doing, but I am going to try. I am really enjoying this process. It is making me vulnerable, but I am building new relationships and getting excellent advice from the messages that visit me. I have reached out to my business friends to get some answers to my worries, and everyone says, “Just do it!” I have an army of support and I cannot believe that this former alcoholic, lost to the bottle, has people rooting me on. I really love, love, love my friends and family! Theeee best!
Does anybody else bathe their dogs in the sink? He’s so cute🤩
I do not have all the answers, and I have been straying from my usual grounding exercises, like yoga and meditating. I have been bringing back my morning saging and meditation because I find myself floating around like a leaf with no purpose! For real! I brought myself back with my own knowledge about me and found myself way ahead this week than I was last week! It is mind-blowing why I stray from it. I mean, quieting my brain when I have a million and one things to get done? No way! But, yes way is the WAY!! I am shouting from the top of my meditating yoga mouth. LOL!
This guy keeps me on my toes!! Maximilian💝
My body craves movement every day. If I ignore it, I get pretty stiff and way sorer than my heaviest lifting day. I find myself spending at least 100 steps to work out the kink in my right knee. My back takes some side to side and front to back stretches and hopefully, me and my back are on the same network, and I do not end up with another ailment from stretching the wrong way😂 That is why I am working on getting to yoga class. I find a lot of reasons why I can not get up and go….like, right now but “I’m writing this blog.” It is on my radar and may make an entrance next week or even tomorrow. All I need is the seed and the nurturing I give takes care of my growing 🙂 I am in seed stage after being hacked up from a weed whacker, I will get back to me soon enough.
Forever my sidekicks 💖
I enjoy planning future fun with my non-furry friends. I just had a friend come over and organize my pantry last week. She is beginning her business adventure too, so we have so much to learn from each other and she has been my best friend since 9! I have a pottery painting date and lunch dates over the next few weeks, and I enjoy spending time creating relationships and trust. I love learning from my friends and getting different perspectives. Plus, we are getting into a “giving” season, so people are just seasonally very nice. Take advantage! Make a new friend, and who knows, they may just be what you need in this crazy place called LIFE!
This was Alex when we first met😍
I am finding my path in the dark. I was intimidated to act on my dreams and now I am living my dreams. I have freedom and space and that is the recipe I needed to come out of my shell. I guess where this road leads, I have no idea. I do know I want to keep going because this might just be the road that will bring me to my next chapter. I also found out I am going to be a grandma! Not just once…but twice:)
Wanishi! (Thank you)
All pictures are a tribute to my furry friends that impact my life daily💝
Self-Diagnosed Yogi 