Hello!

“Anything that is not love is only a visitor to your body.”

-Tahlia Hunter inspired by Rumi “This being human is a house guest”.

I would agree that there was too much space from my last post to now. The off time has been filled with lots of learning and getting prepared to frolic in the summer season. I have started my spring detox and with this comes cleaning out my mind. I find meditation to be the most helpful to receive messages from my body. I sync up to my highest self and get first-hand knowledge on how to navigate through the unknown. Everything in this new season is unknown and I have no idea I am about to realize the huge roadblock standing in my way is me.

To step or not to step:

I cannot look at a task for what it is. I feel when I do that it absorbs my attention into the boring monotony of completing it versus what can I learn from this? I just cannot wait to get it done but if I accept what needs to be done, then I can be mindful and present, the time flies, lessons are learned, and I move on with a pocketful of new knowledge. What a concept! Let me tell you, this has been one of the biggest lessons of my life!

I am a naturally lazy person and I enjoy my sloooow mornings but what I want is not what I NEED. The act of being a proactive person is much more than thinking it. Uggghhhh! I tend to plan more than act. Anyone feel me on that? LOL! I want to be a do-er!

This is how mediation and journaling helped me. So, I can get carried away in daydreams. How I want a moment to go, my life, my day, my night routine, etc. I may or may not act on them depending on my mood. I mean, how can I know what works if I don’t try? Well, I begin to journal what thoughts are repetitive. How do these thoughts make me feel? What would happen if I actually manifested this thought into my current life? I will close my eyes and clear my head of all thoughts as much as I can handle. I enjoy the silence, the darkness, the sounds. My breath is my focus until I settle in nothing.

I don’t know exactly how this works, but answers flood my brain. The messages I receive may be too out of my comfort zone. I may be too embarrassed or scared to step out of line. What would people think? I might start to tell myself things I heard other people say about themselves or about me. I might begin to believe the words; the names and I might start to look at myself negatively. But then, a huge part of me says, “What if I’m good at it? What if I am a success? What does success look like?”

It took me years and thousands of dollars in therapy to get to this point in my life. I spent so much time trying so many things to support who I really am. I showed up for everyone but me. I stand tall for my kids, and I will love and support them no matter what. I show up for my family and friends and shower them with all of my attentive love. I will give the shirt off my back to help someone in need. But what will I do for me? I do for everyone but myself and that is my roadblock. My huge pillar standing in my way. ME.

What does showing up for myself look like?

I have decided to be a full-time business entrepreneur. I feel the universe is fully supporting me and I can do what I need to share my drinks with the world. I have never felt so fucking comfortable in such an unfamiliar place. I just keep putting one foot in front of the other and I trust I am on the right path. I have applied to participate in a local pitch competition, and I am scared out of my mind. That is exactly what I need to level up. Fear will keep me focused and I will show up to represent who I am and what I plan to do. This is something I don’t do. Share my future goals with anyone! Holy shit! Let’s go!

I do plan on posting every day for the rest of the year (with lots of grace and love to myself). I will share my thoughts and lessons and maybe these can seed your “mind garden” and get you thinking about you, too! What will it take to level up and get to your next higher self? Oh, I can’t wait!

Namaste!