love yourself

Finding My Chaos

/ Self-Diagnosed Yogi / Leave a comment

Hè, yogi!

I have been manifesting my peace on my mat this past week. I find that consistency is delicate. It’s so easy to fall off track and stay where I am at. Sometimes peace is too familiar, and familiar is not going to make me grow. I want unfamiliar, I want to be challenged and unfiltered. I might want these things, but my feet do not move with intention because my heart seeks peace. Sometimes I can talk myself out of what I really want because it’s easier to do what I know. Uggghhhh! A schedule is not to be taken lightly if I want to grow. I need to ruffle my tail feathers and start finding my chaos!

My yoga mat recharges me, bring on chaos💕

What do you think of chaos? Does it make you sweat? Does it sound messy? How can you know if you have been protecting your peace for so long? I know I have! I have had 100 foot walls up since I last drank. I have rules and laws set in place to keep people and distractions out of my way! Unbeknownst to me, I have created my cell. It is time for me to get out of my own way and seek growth. I have outgrown my protections and it’s time to spread my wings and find my future ME=)

Last nights full moon has me questioning all I know…

I am 1,000% a homebody. I love my home, and I love being alone. I also long to strengthen my friendships and I wish to be more social. I finally have my fatigue handled so my energy is fabulous! I planned a fun night out with my friend, and I plan on getting plans set up with my other friends. Friendships are so crucial especially as we age, it’s hard to find people that compliment your life instead of complicate. I also enjoy planning parties at my house and with Halloween coming up, I am planning two parties! Wahoooo!

Me as the ‘other mother ‘ from Coraline last year💕 2024
Me and my dad sharing the same expressions 😂  I am the goblin king💕 2023

I don’t want to appear confusing bringing up chaos and friends. I mean, I lived in chaos for so long that I am now craving it. I just want to be challenged. I want to be social again and have a life that I am not scared to live in. It’s time to get up out of my guarded tower and venture out into the unknown. My life is unknown but one this is sure; I love my life! I find my way in the dark, but the light is so mesmerizing and desired. Finding my chaos is going to be beautiful!

Namaste!

Mni Wichoni

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Hè, yogi!

I had a huge release! I feel so very connected to myself, and I’d like to give a huge shoutout to mni (Lakota), water. I jumped forward with an idea that came into fruition the day before. I was sitting next to the water to listen and be enchanted with its rhythm and free flow of clarity and truth. Boom, bop, bam! Idea enters my brain. I never jumped on something so fast since I started my business. It’s been 3 years since I gained my confidence back and can trust the unknown is going to be scary but so healing. Cheers to, mni and reminding me of who I am.

My spot to cold plunge🥶

There is something so healing about water. It cleans us, cools us, supports us, nourishes us. Water is us. I forget the beauty of healing with water after a long-frozen winter. Now as things thaw, I too become unthawed and curious. I too venture to the edges of my safety container to see what it’s like to become unraveled and grow towards the sun. What if I jumped into my fears and found out I can survive? That it didn’t hurt and actually opened up a new perspective of winning.

I have to come undone to move in this new direction of manifesting and seeing it through. That is my number one goal in everything. I have been finishing my fireplace project and had to pause because I need to go back to the store to get a small roller because I lost or threw away mine. I’m finally ready to begin the last varnish layer and I get to mark this off my list. That feels good to be so productive. Due diligence at its finest. I am a completer of my goals, om.

Before…
After🥹

I have to get going on a zoom call but I wanted to get my thoughts out there on the healing benefits of water. I cannot wait for my favorite summer season to really enjoy the waters support. Me and water will heal this summer and I will thrive in all that I do! I will share more on manifestation later 🙂

Namaste!

Trust The Process

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Hè, friend!

It has been too long since I have shared my life experiences as a yogi. My last post was falling back in line with my commitments to myself. I am the most unstructured person I know. Can I be structured? Yes! In fact, the slow but steady curiosity has led me to believe it is crucial in my growth. I have been pondering where I want to be in life. What does my life look like in 5 months? 1 year? 5 years? This is so important to be really clear with myself. Needless to say, this took all of 3 months. I am just getting started on how to get there. It’s not a rush but a direction I am heading. I will accept the failures and learn then re-route. Trust the process.

I’m doing some home remodeling 🤗

This morning, I decided to whip out a facial mask recipe and I am glowing! I feel fantastic too! My life is pretty amazing and it’s clear I have created all the space I needed to begin my transformation. The full moon last night was pulling all the worries I have front and center. I do not like to give worry a pulse but last night I tossed from 2:40 am – 4 am. I guess it’s time to face what it is. I like to pause and walk around the very root of my issues, careful to not disturb until I’m ready. Now it is so.

Winter has brought up a lot of things, things I forgot I buried…

This winter has been very clear to me. I have discovered a lot about me that I admire, and I want to gather all of my strengths into community. I find myself wavering because I am not fully rooted. When I am certain my “WHERE” and “WHY” I can build on that. It takes so much time, and I know I need to reach out to my community. Who are they? Where do I feel safest? I notice as people show me their true colors I will either jump or withdrawal and lately, there’s been a lot of me pulling back, observing. Who can I trust? I usually fall quickly and learn the hard way. Why is trusting people so blind? I mean, I am genuine, and I just cannot believe how hard that is….truly disheartening.

I am capable💪🏽💖

I have a local business helping me with my business branding and social media. I cannot wait to begin the spring/summer season of selling my drinks. I love what I do, it’s why I do it. I am craving more though and since I have gotten clear on my goals, I just need courage and trust. Well, I hope to begin documenting my journey as promised. I am worthy of all the glory of my wildest dreams! I really am and I am ready to get started!

Namaste!

Falling For Meditation

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Hi, yogi!

As the vibrant hues of summer gradually fade, the cool nights of fall usher in a season of reflection and renewal. The air becomes crisp, carrying with it the earthy scents of fallen leaves and the promise of winter’s approach. It’s during these serene evenings that many find themselves yearning for a moment of pause, a chance to digest not just the remnants of summer fun but also the experiences that have shaped their lives.

Summer brings an abundance of activity, filled with laughter, adventures, and a whirlwind of social gatherings. From lake outings to late-night barbecues, the season is a tapestry of joyful moments. However, as the days grow shorter and the nights cooler, there’s an inherent call to slow down and internalize those experiences. This is where meditation can play a transformative role.

My loving, intentional time to be with my thoughts💞

Meditation offers a sanctuary amid the hustle and bustle of life. It invites us to sit with our thoughts and emotions, allowing us to process the joys and lessons summer has imparted. As the world outside shifts into a calmer rhythm, meditation encourages a similar stillness within. The act of focusing on the breath or visualizing the changing leaves can ground us, helping to clear the mental clutter accumulated during the frenetic pace of summer.

I love slow days under the tree canopy💖

Moreover, fall is a time of transition, not just in nature but in our personal lives as well. Just as trees shed their leaves, we too can let go of what no longer serves us. Meditation fosters this release, promoting a sense of peace as we acknowledge our experiences and intentions moving forward. It creates a space for gratitude, allowing us to appreciate the warmth of summer while embracing the beauty of change.

Just a daily meeting with Mr. 🌞

As the nights grow colder, wrapping ourselves in a cozy blanket and finding a quiet spot becomes an inviting ritual. With each inhale, we can draw in the crisp air, and with each exhale, we can release the remnants of summer’s heat, creating balance within. In this way, meditation helps us digest not only the fun we had but also the emotions tied to it—joy, nostalgia, and perhaps a hint of melancholy.

Staying warm✌🏽

In conclusion, the cooler nights of fall provide an ideal backdrop for introspection. By engaging in meditation, we can harmonize our experiences, allowing the vibrancy of summer to settle into a deeper understanding of ourselves. As we embrace the change of seasons, let us also embrace the opportunity for inner growth, finding solace in the quiet moments that autumn brings.

We are all enjoying this change🥰

Namastè!

Sitting in Contentment

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Hi!

I have been in a creating mood. I’m ready to see what is out there. I have spent my summer cleaning, moving, organizing, working, and now it’s time to have fun! I’m ready to plan a vacation with my friend and another with my husband. I am enjoying the cool nights and find myself slowing down. Life is showing me that it is yet another season to reflect on the busy of summer, to process the major events, and sit with what I have and enjoy. I love this season! I feel the contentment of my hard work sinking in, I have come soooooo far! I am very proud of myself.

I’m captivated by every sunrise. A new beginning.

I decided to re-introduce my daily mantras routine Monday. I get up each morning and head into the bathroom. After I wash my face, I will look myself in the mirror and say my daily loving mantras. I am feeling the deep truth of my words. I even believe myself. I learned to honor me and be so kind. I am a builder. I will no longer tear myself down from my past. I will only love. Me and everyone. Love is the easiest to share for me. My love language shows up in serving others. I really love to serve. Yesterday, I ran myself into the ground serving. I need to relearn balance and boundaries. This will be my season to honor my boundaries and learn “NO” again. “NO” isn’t unkind. What could that mantra look like?

Do you feel the release of the summer heat? Is there cooler nights where you live? I love summer! I do enjoy the cooling effects of transition time. I used to be so scared of change because I didn’t know what to expect. I mean, my whole life changed from me saying “NO”. Just like that. I can sit and adjust and just be. Life is the coolest experience, and I have so much space to explore but for now, I am good just sitting in contentment. I really love where I am at, but I must keep moving through the seasons. What a life!

Real life peace💝

Namaste!

All pictures by Self-Diagnosed Yogi💖

My Home Is Where My Family Is

/ Self-Diagnosed Yogi / Leave a comment

Yogi!

It has been way too long! Life has its way of showing me who is really in control of this ship. I have found resiliency in the shit storms, and I have learned how to grow my roots in times of uncertainty. All of these lessons prove time after time again, yoga and meditation are key to my life success. I find myself craving these sessions time and time again. Especially, in the unknown and life has thrown a lot of uncertainty at me in unknown territory. I seriously, verbatim told my sister back in May, “My home is where my family is.” I didn’t think that would be tested the very next day…

Life has been unrecognizable lately and I crave familiarity 💝

One thing I do know for sure, I am a small, small, tiny speck in a huge world unknown. I might be big in my world but so small outside of here. Where is here? Home. Home is where I can recharge my light. My familiarity, my energy. I love to create the most welcoming and safe place with strong roots. I want the sun to circle my homestead with fatherly love and watch over the plant life and give them strength. I want to close my eyes and understand every detail of my home and each turn of the pathways. I lost and found myself in that old house. I raised my kids there. I lost my best friend and grieved in that house. I had to leave that house though. A life lost and here I am. Taking up space in a new space, grieved wound, new hope. I add hope because without hope, growth halts.

My lime tree is fruiting💖

I have a new space with my family. The hardest part is over, and I am ready to embrace this new life. I am hopeful and ready to grow into my new pot. Change is hard. I am pretty adaptable though. I have a new cat room for my babies and my plants are enjoying the new space and dare I say, thriving? We have been here one month now. We still have painting at our old house before we put it on the market, but I am hopeful we can get it all done in two weeks. Fingers crossed!

I love my kittys😻

I am getting back into my hustle mindset probably due to the fiery sun this summer has brought. I like the focus and I am preparing for the full moon this week. What are some full moon intentions you are working on? I am ready to get back into my work groove and surprise myself with some cool ideas and collabs! Stay tuned!

Namaste!

Eras Collab

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Hè, friend!

Another week began, and I decided to vacate the usual hamster wheel routine. Things need to be rearranged to fit my new life aspirations motif. I am manifesting me. New me, improved me, a new eras me. I will embrace this change because it’s a collab of all the past mes at my highest self. I have a collection of personal highs that will encourage me to live as my highest self. I present an eras collab.

Youth me:

I could sit by this little stream and watch the patterns ripple over the tree roots and rocks. There was a comfort in the songs of the birds. I knew this wooded area so well. I spent so much of my childhood here. Alone. I preferred. I never needed anyone here. I was always safe.

There is nothing like an early morning walk to greet the sun. It’s amazing! I also like to workout early. My plan is to move every morning. This daily practice helped me tremendously with my recovery. I know I need it.

Teen me:

I loved to write. I would listen to Lauryn Hill and write poems, stories, and research papers. Lol! I was obsessed with words and meanings. There is a floetry to a love dance or hurt. Being a teen in the 90s was amazing. I had great women to admire and get inspiration.

I plan on getting word creative daily. I’m not sure how that looks, but infesting myself with words is my goal. In and out.

20’s me:

Social butterfly in the house! I was in it all! I miss having the hours long girl time conversing and not having to hold back cause your circle was tight. I could hold the same sacred circle for all my girls. What a huge blessing.

@blushfitness

30’s me:

Lifting weights was unlike any other workout. I was so connected; mind, body. I was able to build muscles and squat heavy. I showed up for myself and surprised myself. I got pretty fit by myself. I can get back to this mindset, no problem.

As vast as this ocean is, I trust the journey.

40’s me:

Acceptance. I never fully understood what this would be like. I enter my 40s facing the unknown. Life after covid, wrinkles, finally facing my alcohol problem, new career turn, spiritual awakening, healing traumas. That’s in 2 years. Life is wild!

I might have this huge plan to slowly introduce my highest eras back into existence, but with my wisdom, I know acceptance for where I am is most needed. Acceptance is my peace and wisdom is my compass.

Namastè!

All pictures by Self-Diagnosed Yogi.

Self-Realization

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Hè, friend!

Spring is really showing out this season. We had wet, rainy days, cold days, blustery windy days, hot, sunny days, and chilly nights. My spring reset is officially fully integrated, and I am excited to see the sights with my fully functional senses. I would agree that April is flying by! I made an intention of posting every day, but I found it wasn’t beneficial to my life. I do want to share every day, but some days I get so busy, I forget. I also find myself in a repeating thought process. It’s where I am sometimes. I found myself in a familiar pattern of not finishing things. I will have big ideas and big plans, but I fall short and completely stop. I then move on to the next thing to partially build.

4/20 plant potting party!

I noticed this huge pattern in my life. A huge hindrance and an elephant in the room I called ‘normal’. Now that I see it, what am I going to do about it, you ask? Well, I am taking big plans into action by building my lemonade business up. I began my week of research and writing and planning. I’m quiet on the internet, but things are manifesting over here! I want to see this out and invest my best in myself. If the business fails, I will take what I need and build it better the next time. If I thrive, I will share my knowledge as seeds for the next person. I am not a gatekeeper, I share. Knowledge is power, and I feel it in my soul that I am on the right path no matter the outcome.

Whatever I say now are my plans will change. I will change as a person as my business grows. This is the natural progression in life. I know what it feels like to be wanting more and have no idea how to get there. I just left an outgrown garden bed and found one with companion plants that will ensure my survival and show me how to thrive. One day, I will need to change out of this garden bed but for now, it’s home. My roots are getting stronger as I learn to navigate through these unknown times. My feet will not fail me now.

Namastè!

All pictures by Self-Diagnosed Yogi.

Manifestor

/ Self-Diagnosed Yogi / Leave a comment

Hè, friend!

It’s been pretty quiet over here. I have been taking some time out to decompress and reset. I am ready to resume my path, and I am contemplating how my mornings will look beginning next week. I have new focus and direction to entertain me while the kinks of my life work themselves out. I will finish what I started and noticed I’m falling back into a pattern of a bunch of half-finished shit. Ew. I want to manifest myself as a finisher and even better as a successful businesswoman. I have saved millions for big corporations, and now it’s time for me to use my power for me. I will determine my successes, and this will be such an amazing time to learn and make money while learning on the job.

What is a manifestor?

A do-er. The seer from manifesto to end-O. Me. Hi, I am a manifestor of my life dreams and I turn them into reality. I know what things make me sing and I know what the beat of my heart longs for. I am excellent at solving my own problems and keeping moving forward. My dreams become tangible, and I keep manifesting my dreams.

Make a detailed list.

How can I know what I really want if I don’t write it down? I get excited seeing new monthly goals typed out. It makes them real. I mean, how can I talk about my future plans with my future customers if I’m not planning? Duh! I love planning, it’s acting on those plans that’s my downfall. I find myself in too many rooms and not finished painting one of them. I think this might be mindless sabotage pattern that I need to break. I see how this sneaky little, big, huge problem snaked its way into my sober life. I quit alcohol so this is nothing. Here goes nothing.

Do I need to break a pattern?

First of all, I will need to be the one to recognize it. Then, I have to agree to change its form. I find value in boundaries and making sure I trust where I am. Do I need armor? Do I need my defenses up? I like to fully understand where I am in my feelings. How do I feel? That is a multiple, daily question. For real. Next, is the breakthrough question if there is value in change. Sometimes awareness plants a seed and eventually a new thought pattern can grow from that. It just takes time to see where growth takes place. Growth isn’t necessarily lowering the gates, just awareness.

Small wins!

I will celebrate every day. There is a lot that goes into my human day of life. I take for granted waking up. I mean, that is a huge blessing! I have a lot of classmates that didn’t make it to my age so prayers up! I know success because my whole life has been just that. I know I cannot lose when my mind is 100% in the game and I really believe I am on the right, successful path that I am supposed to be on.

Namastè!

All pictures by Self Diagnosed Yogi.

Pep to My Step

/ Self-Diagnosed Yogi / 2 Comments

Hello!

Happy Friday! I can’t believe I made it! This week has been insane and somehow I’m here! All I want to do is rest and pamper myself. I feel a pedicure and massage coming. Oh, joy! What are your weekend plans?

My weekend will be full of my best girlfriends and I sharing conversations and lots of laughter. I miss my friends so much! I don’t know about you, but there is a certain energy with uplifting women. I get recharged so I can continue sharing my gifts. I get to say out loud my goals and not be discouraged by upstaging. We are on our own journeys, but damn, magic happens with my girls. I love them💞

I’m ending my cleanse after today. I seriously will continue the light, early dinner because that wake-up call is early, and I like this new pep to my step. It’s nice and light and full of energy! “Snap your fingers, do your step,” Lil John.

I don’t have many pictures to share, but I will tomorrow! This week was about survival, and well, now it’s time to party 🥳

Namastè!