Learning to Love the Pauses

June 23, 2023June 21, 2023 / Self-Diagnosed Yogi / Leave a comment

Hè, friend!

My days are filling with lots of movement. The longer days energize me with stamina and curiosity. I am in my third week of 5:30 am bootcamp. Just two weeks ago, I was so sore that all I could do was move slowly and awkwardly. All that came out of my mouth was, “I’m so sore.” Well, good thing my body did what it does to repair the brokenness. I trust the process and understand that after boot camp and 12,000 steps a day, I’m allowed rest. My body needs restoration and salty tub soaks, slower evenings with abhyanga or self-massage, and loving massages from my husband. I’m learning to love the pauses because then healing will take place.

The rain carries so much more than water. The sound is the most mesmerizing to me.

Listen with Intent

More is more. We don’t always need more, we need to learn to listen to our bodies. I find slowing down to meditate gets all my senses in line with what is really going on. It’s my time to gather knowledge and truths. I don’t need to read a magazine or listen to a podcast to know what’s going on in me. Right? So, what feels good to stretch after a grueling workout? Do I need to practice yin yoga? Am I listening to my body’s need or just going through mindless motions? Listening is key to a healthy body mindset.

Yoga Asanas

I love yoga! Yoga brought me to my core. My purpose in life. How? I know, it’s crazy! Yoga began as a workout, but being in my mind on my mat, reflecting on my day, life, and worldly views, entranced me. I became the next victim to the power of yoga. My curiosity kept me coming back to my mat. What will I find out today? How will my body adjust to these new fruitations? My mind is a sponge, and I want all of it! I’m starting to read about yoga philosophy, and this old knowledge feels alive inside of me. I carry it in all my conversations with myself and others. Even my yoga studio offers conversations on Thursdays. Heart love💝

I get up and move every morning, rain or shine.

Start My Day Right

Oh, gotta love that morning routine! I am lazy to get out of my bed. I like to play my day in my head while my husband takes up space in our bathroom. Anything to enjoy being in my haven. I get up and kiss him good morning as I make my way into the bathroom. I brush my teeth, scrape my tongue, wash my face, use my homemade Chamomile toner, massage my homemade calendula shea butter into my face utilizing gua sha, and salt rinse and oil my nose. I get dressed for my workout and get to stepping. When I get home, I eliminate, shower, and abhyanga my poor muscles. Depending on my hunger, I will eat or get away with a hot tea to begin my next session of my day.

Anything can be nourishing if you can be mindful.

Mindful Movement

I love my body so much. It took some time for me to say it, let alone write about it. My body was home to my three babies. My body endured pain, life, regrets, and abuse. It was me who blocked it out. If I can love others, I sure as hell can love myself. If I’m moving with purpose I can tend to my body’s needs and get into my day helping others.

Yogi Outro

I am enjoying the longer days, and the heat is welcoming to my cooler body temps. I find the line so very thin between moving my body all day and rest. Am I being lazy by resting? Am I lazy because I want to read in my hammock and enjoy the cool morning breeze? Maybe, but I have to be ok with it. I love to cut corners so I can have my lazy, restorative practices. It’s a balance and going, going, going will lead to burn out. I am learning to enjoy the pauses and enjoy watching my seeds grow.

Namastè!

All pictures by Lenape Spiritual Yogi Awakened.

Accepting What Is

June 21, 2023 / Self-Diagnosed Yogi / Leave a comment

Hè, friend!

I have been enjoying taking care of myself and nurturing my soul. I take so much pride in how far I have come in my life. It is surreal to think three years ago I was drowning my sorrows in big schooners of IPAs. Now, I’m grounded and able to face any problem head-on without a second thought. Plus, I have the best circle of people who build me up. I am sharing space with people like me. I am not hanging on to old friends or old memories and feeling stuck in my old ways of coping. I have moved on. I want to keep progressing, and the only way is to stop looking back. My acceptance of my future and how I want my future to look like is my key to my happiness. The rearview mirror isn’t distracting me anymore. My future is in plainview, and it’s mesmerizing!

Spread Love Where Love Is Sparse

Who you were yesterday doesn’t have to define you today unless you want it to. Say that twice. I’m sure depending on who you’re talking to, there will be many opinions of me. Some good, some bad. If I cared about the world’s opinion, I wouldn’t have time to focus on me being my best self. I bring forth my best smiles to frowns. I give hugs for free! I listen intently to anyone willing to give me a friendly conversation. I give, give, give. I don’t expect anything back. I just want anyone I encounter to feel good being them. I want to bring love and care back into the picture. If for one moment strangers become friends and enemies agree to disagree, then the day was pretty great.

8 Hugs A Day

I told my Ayurveda teacher how cold I’ve been lately, like, “to the bone chill.” She suggested many scenarios, but lack of loving attention from others struck me deep. I do demand hugs from my family, but I haven’t been present with them. I’ve been soldiering through the muck of life with only me. It was apparent that I needed more community and more time with those I love. That’s my secret recipe to refuel. I was giving, giving, giving, and no one filled me up. I neglected me in a sense. So, my teacher said we need 8 hugs a day. How many hugs do you get a day? Now, that I’m mindful, I aim for 8. Get in those hugs! Lol!

My husband still holds my hand. He takes me on drives so I can see the sunset. That’s love💗

Community

I never know who I am going to meet outside my house. I love volunteering and meeting all the world has to offer. I find people so enchanting, and their stories capture me every time! I do get filled up with love when I see a group of people serving the community. I work hard, planting seeds and growing myself to the woman I see myself as. She’s wise, loving, accountable, trusting, strong. I build these gifts from the people I meet, so thank you🥹

Yogi Outro

We all have gifts. The funnest part of life is finding who you are. My discovery process has been fulfilling and keeps me accountable. I strive each day to take yesterday’s learnings into today’s garden. I don’t have to plant them all. Some seeds are not to grow on but keep to give to someone else. I’m always thinking of others. I’m a nurturer, but not everyone needs me. I learned to back off. Those are my lessons learned. I also make sure I’m getting not only self- love but also accept love from others. Especially those hugs!

Namastè!

All pictures by Lenape Spiritual Yogi Awakened.

Broken Chains

May 17, 2023 / Self-Diagnosed Yogi / 2 Comments

Hè, friend!

I had a HUGE release last month when I was driving. You just never know when something will come to the surface. It was one thought leading to the next and BAM I’m balling. I felt so amazing afterward and slept so well. I found the peace I’ve been seeking. I also used my friend, Jamelle @barerootsenergy, for an amazing reiki session to help heal me and get bottled up emotions flowing freely. 3 years ago, I would’ve held that emotion back. I was bottled so tightly with past bullshit that that release (2 years ago) was the most life changing. It was so freeing to have no boundaries up when it came time to let go. I let go of anger, sadness, regrets, broken promises, all my life’s work up until that point was definitely under pressure. I have broken chains by my feet and a full heart. Who can I help heal today?

I bought a popcorn plant that smells like buttery popcorn😍

I have been so curious about my mindset lately that anyone I talk to has heard me ask, “Why are you scared of spiders?” I truly don’t remember my fear origin of spiders. I’ve never played with one or had a spider tell me to fear it. I know this to be someone else’s fear they passed down to me. I like the helpful information, like poke berries are poisonous and stay away from poison hemlock, the name says it all. I was a child who loved tall grass. I would run in it, roll in it. What a grand time I had. I want to do this again, I want this freedom without fear, but also without being hurt. I am coexisting with all of life, all the living things, and I respect my place. I am not superior but lateral. Someone always wants to rule, but my rule is respect. I can’t fail with respect in my heart.

I gave birth to my last child almost 15 years ago. I had an IUD put in as soon as I could. I finally had it removed for the 3rd time and not replaced. My body was able to naturally detox from the synthetic hormones, and boy, was that fun. Not! I have never felt the surge of dancing with my emotions like that. I was happy one moment, crying my eyes out the next, I felt broken and attacked. I tried to communicate, but no one was around me. That might’ve been a lie, I told myself while I was riding the emotional roller coaster. I got through it. Those were only 15 years of built-up energy, I’m so glad my whole body can communicate within itself again. I am FREE, and those broken chains by my feet can be free too.

My daily walks help keep me grounded and in shape. 10K plus steps a day!

I don’t let anyone come and tell me who I am. I am fully aware I used to live by other people’s experiences. I would read how one food, way of eating, and how one wakes in the morning is the epic beginning to one’s day. Well, more often than not, I would store that information away. One day, when I want to save myself, I’ll know exactly what to do. Right? I mean, we have a pill for everything now. All these labels were invented to grab your attention over the next bottle. I began experimenting with all this knowledge I picked up. Some ideas were in agreement with my body, but did I thrive? What makes me ME? I change every day, and I learned to listen to myself. My husband laughs all the time when I say, “I know what’s best for me.” But I do!😉

Yogi Outro✌🏽

I really enjoy learning! I’m always looking for opportunities to fill my senses with pleasure! I love feeding the birds and watching them. I will be outside every chance I get! Ask my family! Lol! I want the experiences of spring to engulf my nose with the wetness of the earth, I want to feel the wind cool my sweaty skin, I want the brightness of the sun to bring light to the magnificent colors of spring and fill my heart with prana, my ears listen to the sweet songs of the diversity of animals coexisting in my little backyard, I can’t forget tasting the bitter greens popping up to help my liver heal after detoxing every experience I’ve had up to this point. I am so very blessed, and my life is amazing! Don’t fit in someone else’s limits. Have healthy conversations, but know this is your life, and as you make big decisions and learn, life gets less complicated cause you set your life on your terms. No one else’s, break those chains!

Namastè🙏🏽

All pictures by Lenape Spiritual Yogi Awakened.

I Am Limitless

May 11, 2023May 11, 2023 / Self-Diagnosed Yogi / Leave a comment

Hè, friend!

I finally completed my firepit area in my backyard and I love it! I find myself sitting out here facing the different directions in my effort to find my creativity. Where is my G-spot in this vast area full of life? LOL! I am slowly being called to work with the Sacred Hoop or Medicine Wheel. Exploring the unknown is so fucking fulfilling. I am in control of this ship, and I want to go where I have never been before. I am without fear and only curiosity, it’s overwhelming. I used to be limited in my quests by limited beliefs. Now, I am waist-high in so let the adventures begin! I am limitless.

My weekends have been full of moving and hauling rocks with my family. Ahhhh! Project 1 ✔️

My mornings have been consistent with my new routine of yoga and a good hour of fast walking in nature, all before work! Or before 7! My consensus is this new morning practice is phenomenal! I am so clear headed and focused to begin my tasks for the day. I am centered and full of energy. I am still getting up at 4am and I am noticing that, not only am I opening my eyes, but I am also up and at ’em! I get my bathroom habits completed and roll out my mat. I have a few yoga teachers I can trust to give me a heated flow. I get my heart beating good, my body stretched, pranayama (breath practice), mind/body/soul check in, organs moved, eyeballs moved, and a meditation all in 1 hour! Yoga is amazing stuff, I tell ya!

This Robin comes back every year to lay her 1st round of eggs. They hatched this year!

I understand when I leave my house, I am a mere lonely soul in a huge existence of many, many other people. I have to be in a good mindset to take on others’ emotions. You know how emotional some people get when they are passed on the highway, or how people can be unkind to you for no other reason than to be mean, or my neighbor who quickly pulled out of their driveway in front of me while I was driving on the street. I do my best to not react negatively, as two negatives are exactly that. I have learned to slow down and take my time being intentional in all my life’s moments. I analyze it all! Smells, sights, temperature, emotions. I do not want everyone’s trash or shitty attitudes so if I leave my home with the mindset that I will serve without any prejudices, I win! I choose peace and love, love and peace.

Mr. Baby is the cutest cat I ever met. ❤️ He loves companionship and together we love the new firepit area!

I have been listening to my body and since I’m typically eating two meals a day, I have been skimping on good fats, like avacados, chia seeds, nuts, ghee. I had a thought cross my mind (or intuition) last weekend that I need more fat and I should start making my decaf lattes with 2% milk (eeeek!) and 1 teaspoon of ghee. Well, one week into my little experiment and I find it pretty good with my digestion and I am noticing my skin! I am not so dry anymore, but we shall see because it has been raining and humid the last few days. I feel I have more power over my cravings for sugar too! I’m not sure if its linked but it’s highly suspicious because I made a pact with myself this week, I would not eat sugar or sugar free foods after 7pm. Well, I haven’t and also, I really haven’t had a lot of sugar, except the cake and ice-cream last night to celebrate a birthday.

My new front door mat that sums up my summer plans in a creative way😂

How limited is life really? I find my boundaries are lifting. I am safe in my beliefs, and they serve me well. I am so intuned to my higher self and where I’m headed. It’s crazy to break through old thought processes and truly believe in myself, right where I am. I am limitless in my love. I am limitless in my body. I am limitless in my life. What possibilities await? I honestly from the deep core of my bones cannot wait to live my life in this new existence. I see myself dancing and growing so deep into my spirit. Don’t be scared to explore your space and find how you too can live limitless!

Namaste!

All pictures by Lenape Spiritual Yogi Awakened.

Building Community

May 5, 2023May 5, 2023 / Self-Diagnosed Yogi / Leave a comment

Hè, friend!

I missed a Wednesday post, so welcome to a Friday blog catch-up! There is a lot of life happening over here, and I feel like I’m watching a movie of someone else’s life. I am not accustomed to doors opening, but here I am. Me. Proving to myself, that as I grow into my safe container that whatever part of me that spills out, is still safe. It’s OK for me to walk into the unknown and find out. I’m a curious soul, and I really find people so interesting when we are together. I love my yoga community, and when we get together, magic happens, and we learn so much from each other! It’s a weekly meet up and building community is so fucking healthy!!❤️‍🔥

He was about a foot away from his other snail friend. Community.

Shed who you think you are for who you want to be

We all have an idea of what we think people will be like based on looks alone. Our opinions are so vast apart or cloned copycats that are only created from experiences, right? Or hearsay? Whatever the reason, it’s not true until you find out. When I made myself vulnerable and took my ego out of the equation, I became flawed but yearned to share my experiences. I built my confidence with my group. There is beauty in pain when we can see why we had to experience it in the first place. I am perfectly imperfect, and I’ll rarely be on time to most, but these things make me, me. The more I try not to be me, life gets messy.

My husband helps me cook, which really helps me. Community.

Know your boundaries

I love being with my people. I also love being by myself. There is a balance, though, and very fine lines that can make or break me. I pick up on others’ emotions easily. I really do not enjoy being dragged down, so my choices of people have drastically changed. We all have problems, trust. I keep my real ride or die circle small, but it’s solid, and I feel grounded enough to keep building my confidence with others with boundaries.

Get a new hobby, gain a new friend

I know that as I get older, I find I have a lot of hobbies! One thing leads me down a rabbit hole to more things. My hobbies keep me balanced in all the seasons. Through these hobbies, I’ve met so many like-minded people with dreams and aspirations similar to me. I admire all the people I meet, and when I’ve had my fill of interacting, I leave. I honor myself, and I try not to overdo anything. Balance is Bliss 🩷

I enjoy foraging with my friends! Community.

Yogi wrap up

I heard Nate Ortiz on the Highest Self Podcast: 442 Why You Have Digestive/ Hormonal Issues – The Spiritual Causes. He is amazing, and he inspired me by introducing me to be ok wanting to emulate another human. If I want success, I need to pretend I have it, dress like it, present my best self in this image. In a healthy way, of course. No stalking or breaking the law. Just an idea to help manifest my life of my dreams! I learn so much about me from my community! Small steps will get me to my highest self🤩

Namastè!

All pictures by Lenape Spiritual Yogi Awakened.