I had a long, confusing day. It wasn’t bad at all, but it wasn’t how I planned it. I had all my ducks in a row and BAM! I couldn’t carry on and had to rest. I find the hard pauses a must to comply or fuck around and find out kind of deal. I didn’t miss a beat after I felt better and found myself socializing more than normal. I just didn’t get to finish my ” To Do” list I planned.
We napped💝
I did get my green juice prepped for these next few days. I have my beef bone broth brothing in the crockpot overnight. I can enjoy that as my very light lunch for a few days and if this cleanse doesn’t suit me at all I will end it. I’m actually very excited for tomorrow and reflecting during these next few days. I’m ready to cleanse and get things less heavy.
Nourishing my body is the goal this week!
I accept what is, and know I don’t always have control. Nor do I want it. I don’t know how the whole universe works and time and space. I do know how to cope and change my mindset for my health. If one of my rules causes me torment, then I’ll investigate and reassess. I don’t need outside advice, I just need time to reflect. I have begun the initiation of space into my life. Lots of space these next few days. There are lots of things to notice, I’m sure. How far can you go?
It’s been a lot these past few months. I lost my sweet Alex the day after my last post. I lost a whole best friend that day, and it tore open all my wounds. I felt so lost and hurt that she died alone. I never thought it would get better. Grief is a bitch! You never know how it will hurt until you are there. I decided to get a new dog and I really feel Alex sent me that message to my brain right after she died. I cried all the time for the first few days with my new dog, Max. I bet he was so confused to the emotions I carried. Plus, he was so new to me. He keeps me busy, and I love him so much! I love learning how our relationship grows, together, as a new family.
Alex smiling and Aiko chillin vibes✌🏽
I lost my job and still haven’t found a new one, but I am keeping myself so busy. I am building a new herbal adaptogenic drink business from the ground up. I have no idea what I am doing, but I am going to try. I am really enjoying this process. It is making me vulnerable, but I am building new relationships and getting excellent advice from the messages that visit me. I have reached out to my business friends to get some answers to my worries, and everyone says, “Just do it!” I have an army of support and I cannot believe that this former alcoholic, lost to the bottle, has people rooting me on. I really love, love, love my friends and family! Theeee best!
Does anybody else bathe their dogs in the sink? He’s so cute🤩
I do not have all the answers, and I have been straying from my usual grounding exercises, like yoga and meditating. I have been bringing back my morning saging and meditation because I find myself floating around like a leaf with no purpose! For real! I brought myself back with my own knowledge about me and found myself way ahead this week than I was last week! It is mind-blowing why I stray from it. I mean, quieting my brain when I have a million and one things to get done? No way! But, yes way is the WAY!! I am shouting from the top of my meditating yoga mouth. LOL!
This guy keeps me on my toes!! Maximilian💝
My body craves movement every day. If I ignore it, I get pretty stiff and way sorer than my heaviest lifting day. I find myself spending at least 100 steps to work out the kink in my right knee. My back takes some side to side and front to back stretches and hopefully, me and my back are on the same network, and I do not end up with another ailment from stretching the wrong way😂 That is why I am working on getting to yoga class. I find a lot of reasons why I can not get up and go….like, right now but “I’m writing this blog.” It is on my radar and may make an entrance next week or even tomorrow. All I need is the seed and the nurturing I give takes care of my growing 🙂 I am in seed stage after being hacked up from a weed whacker, I will get back to me soon enough.
Forever my sidekicks 💖
I enjoy planning future fun with my non-furry friends. I just had a friend come over and organize my pantry last week. She is beginning her business adventure too, so we have so much to learn from each other and she has been my best friend since 9! I have a pottery painting date and lunch dates over the next few weeks, and I enjoy spending time creating relationships and trust. I love learning from my friends and getting different perspectives. Plus, we are getting into a “giving” season, so people are just seasonally very nice. Take advantage! Make a new friend, and who knows, they may just be what you need in this crazy place called LIFE!
This was Alex when we first met😍
I am finding my path in the dark. I was intimidated to act on my dreams and now I am living my dreams. I have freedom and space and that is the recipe I needed to come out of my shell. I guess where this road leads, I have no idea. I do know I want to keep going because this might just be the road that will bring me to my next chapter. I also found out I am going to be a grandma! Not just once…but twice:)
Wanishi! (Thank you)
All pictures are a tribute to my furry friends that impact my life daily💝
How’s your summer been? I have been enjoying the hot summer days and getting lost in my books. What a summer it has been! The company I worked for over eight years lost their fight with finances and declared bankruptcy. I was tossed into a very unexpected dilemma. I am still dilemma’ing over here, but I know all the kinks will work itself out. I trust the end will be exactly what I need. I am not in panic mode, but the newfound space in my days is slowly being filled with meaningful work. I have time to learn the things I wanted to learn and tend to my garden meticulously. I can slow and enjoy my sights and experiences.
I taught myself to can the pears my mother-in-law shared with me.
Don’t get me wrong, I pay my bills with cash, too. I know my leisure mindset can easily turn into pure chaos when bill reminders get frequent or turn to past due. Gulp! I’m not there yet, and it might not even be in the cards for me, so I’ll panic only as needed. In the meantime, I will stay busy. I really enjoy learning. When will I get another opportunity in my life to evaluate my path with such discretion and analytics? Never again. I hope… I will get my skills aligned with another great job. I just know it. For now, I learn. I have signed up for grant writing classes, and I am looking into an Excel brush-up. I am also almost finished with my herbalism classes as well. Oh yeah, I am also re-learning college Algebra because, why not?
I made a sweet Charcuterie for my crochet get-together ❤️
My mental health is strongly influenced by my body movements throughout the day. I ended up joining a bootcamp style gym, and I push myself and get my heart pumping. I make sure I get about 12,000 steps a day with the bulk of the steps during my hour daily walk. I find that moving my body gets my thoughts moving as well as digestion. So many benefits in a time of great stress. I count on this to get me in a healthy mindset for the day. I also love to do this early in the day, so whatever life has to throw at me is counterbalanced with my morning routine.
A beautiful morning walk into the sunrise
I have been keeping my work schedule. I need to ensure I am keeping myself busy while looking for work. I will work on my computer or my phone and keep a consistent daily agenda of 8 things I would like to accomplish for the day. I put in full effort in all my work, and I hope it shows. I know keeping myself busy like I’m working for someone else will increase my efforts in believing in myself. Some days it feels like I’m playing “office”. I am not getting paid as I know I should but that in turn tells me, I need to keep trucking along. I am following the yellow brick road to my financial freedom; I know it cause my dreams tell me so.
I choose myself every time.
My goals have been getting shined up and more deliberate. I am proving my capabilities and my eagerness to learn every day. I am not going to sit on my hands and let my life blow in the wind. It’s my turn to ride the wind and glide into my next endeavor with my eyes fully open and my mind fully engaged. I hope you find some inspiration to change what you can in the craziness of life. Keep moving forward!
I have been enjoying taking care of myself and nurturing my soul. I take so much pride in how far I have come in my life. It is surreal to think three years ago I was drowning my sorrows in big schooners of IPAs. Now, I’m grounded and able to face any problem head-on without a second thought. Plus, I have the best circle of people who build me up. I am sharing space with people like me. I am not hanging on to old friends or old memories and feeling stuck in my old ways of coping. I have moved on. I want to keep progressing, and the only way is to stop looking back. My acceptance of my future and how I want my future to look like is my key to my happiness. The rearview mirror isn’t distracting me anymore. My future is in plainview, and it’s mesmerizing!
This garden parsley and fennel face 😂
Spread Love Where Love Is Sparse
Who you were yesterday doesn’t have to define you today unless you want it to. Say that twice. I’m sure depending on who you’re talking to, there will be many opinions of me. Some good, some bad. If I cared about the world’s opinion, I wouldn’t have time to focus on me being my best self. I bring forth my best smiles to frowns. I give hugs for free! I listen intently to anyone willing to give me a friendly conversation. I give, give, give. I don’t expect anything back. I just want anyone I encounter to feel good being them. I want to bring love and care back into the picture. If for one moment strangers become friends and enemies agree to disagree, then the day was pretty great.
Bee nice😍
8 Hugs A Day
I told my Ayurveda teacher how cold I’ve been lately, like, “to the bone chill.” She suggested many scenarios, but lack of loving attention from others struck me deep. I do demand hugs from my family, but I haven’t been present with them. I’ve been soldiering through the muck of life with only me. It was apparent that I needed more community and more time with those I love. That’s my secret recipe to refuel. I was giving, giving, giving, and no one filled me up. I neglected me in a sense. So, my teacher said we need 8 hugs a day. How many hugs do you get a day? Now, that I’m mindful, I aim for 8. Get in those hugs! Lol!
My husband still holds my hand. He takes me on drives so I can see the sunset. That’s love💗
Community
I never know who I am going to meet outside my house. I love volunteering and meeting all the world has to offer. I find people so enchanting, and their stories capture me every time! I do get filled up with love when I see a group of people serving the community. I work hard, planting seeds and growing myself to the woman I see myself as. She’s wise, loving, accountable, trusting, strong. I build these gifts from the people I meet, so thank you🥹
My cuddle buddies 💙❤️
Yogi Outro
We all have gifts. The funnest part of life is finding who you are. My discovery process has been fulfilling and keeps me accountable. I strive each day to take yesterday’s learnings into today’s garden. I don’t have to plant them all. Some seeds are not to grow on but keep to give to someone else. I’m always thinking of others. I’m a nurturer, but not everyone needs me. I learned to back off. Those are my lessons learned. I also make sure I’m getting not only self- love but also accept love from others. Especially those hugs!
I think it’s safe to say we are all going through shit. We all have over commitments and piles of people with needs from us. We also have our needs, but where do they go? Oh yeah, on the back burner or straight into the dark realms of “someday”. I find myself disengaged and overwhelmed in these distractions of daily life. I can’t help the world if my world is heavy. So, now what? Well, after I identify the problem, a solution will slowly work its way into my life. No one is responsible for me and how I feel. I believe that my desires change due to what shows up in my life. I accept what I have and what I can change. If I cannot have it or change myself to get it, then I do not need it. You feel me?
I recharge outside so I can radiate positivity💖
Know What You Are Digesting
I don’t feed into the hype that doesn’t define who I truly am. I am not an angry person naturally; I cannot listen to the news without the biased news feed pissing me off. So, guess what, I don’t listen. I listen to music and podcasts that shine life into me. I dance instead of fight. I invest in my higher self by feeding myself good nourishment. We digest everything that comes into contact with us. Sights, events, negative self-talk, pollution, SPF, bug spray, toenail polish: you get the point. So, if you are constantly not feeding yourself things that are lighter (comedies, friends that you enjoy, meditation) or brighter (sunshine, standing up for yourself, self-care) you will fall victim to all the heaviness. More is more so that can spill into your relationships with others, work, food, all corners of life. I am just sharing my experience so far. Life is super crazy! One day at a time though…
Thanking God for these 24🕰
Processing Memories
I remember as a kid, I spent a lot of time by myself. I loved to explore nature and found myself at the local nature park every morning. Early! I would wake up and get on my bike and explore. Back then, I was not required to update my parents before I left. I actually had more freedom at that age than when I was a teenager. Another story, though. I remember the smells of Spring, Winter, Fall, Summer. They sing to me in my memory as I stroll through the same area in my 40’s. Memories don’t fade in time. They sit and wait for a chance to shine. I love my memories, even the bad. I spent thousands of dollars to work through the bad ones and changed my perspective. I am no longer a victim. I am a survivor and damn good at my life. CEO **pop that collar**
If you really want to party with me…meet me at the lake:)
Forgive
I will not pretend that forgiveness is easy. I lived with pain, and the pain would make me sad, and I wore a heavy mask of anger. Anger is my secondary emotion. I lost a lot of self-respect due to my anger. It put me in a constant but familiar cycle, and I didn’t know how to pull the brakes and get control of my life. My only life. I learned to be ok with how I turned out. I found beauty in my pain and slowly rebirthed my thoughts. My thoughts had new meaning because they had a goal, an end. I sit with my thoughts a lot. A thought is just a thought until you act, right? I acted my whole life, so why not try something new. Just because someone/something took my trust and shattered boundaries doesn’t mean they/it has to take my power, too. I forgive and move forward. With my newfound knowledge, I steer clear of reoccurance and thrive. Knowledge is power.
Nourishment😍
Yogi Outro
I am so at peace with my weekend plans. No market due to the rain. No swimming due to the rain. No food truck with my bestie due to the rain. I refuse to let things outside of myself set my mood. I can do fun things in the rain. I learned to like new experiences. I find I really like to be rained on and run through puddles unexpectedly! This is fucking life! Nothing is going to ever go the way I want it to go. I learn to live in the chaos and enjoy myself. I will be fine dancing in the rain and cuddling my sweet girl, Alex, when the thunder is a bit too loud. I bring comfort to myself so I can share my love with my loves. I am powerful and in control.
I have been enjoying the new energy I have past 4pm. I used to crash so hard after work that I thought it was just my 40’s. That’s what everyone else says, right? Well, I found a holistic Dr that treats the whole body, mind included. After an hour meeting with my Dr, he ordered labs and I found out I was super-duper low in B12 and Folate. I got a B12 shot, I’ve been taking 2 methyl B Complex vitamins every day for 10 days now and I feel really good! Now that I’m in a better place to function (past 4pm), I’m relearning to reset my body and mind and find what works and what doesn’t. The only way to do that is to stop everything and see what happens.
What I do today impacts my tomorrow.
Meditation:
My focus and mindset begin with my meditation. I stopped meditating for about a week, and I felt so ungrounded. I am a very grounded person naturally. I started meditating and BOOM! Order in the mind got me putting this bad boy on the daily 6am calendar, fo’ life! I have been meditating for 12 days now (so far, I only missed one day) and my brain fog is lifting. I just enjoy a clear brain! I know there are lots of benefits to meditating and I find myself doing this more than once a day. It’s a great reset, especially if I just released a lot of emotions.
Me and my bud.
Mindful Movement:
Yoga, yoga, yoga. Ok. So, I never went to a yoga class and went “I wish I didn’t go”. Ever! I love yoga and how it makes me feel! I am centered and empowered. Yoga is when I spend an hour loving my beautiful body in beautiful poses moving and lubricating my joints and organs, breathing mindfully, moving my eyeballs all around in different Drishti (eye focus points), and come to a Savasana quiet meditation. This is the magic. I went a week without, and my joints were stiff, my muscles were sore, I felt unmotivated and stuck. What a shitty feeling to be stuck. After my week, I ran to yoga. Yoga is where I go to digest my life experiences. I get to check in on my body and each part. My mind connects and I am whole. That give me all the happy tears because yoga gives me all I need inside and out.
Yoga with Aiko💝
Nature Calls:
Being outside in nature is my daily dessert. I find when I connect with life outside of myself and other humans, things begin to make sense. Follow the sun, when it wakes, I am too. The sun is highest at noon so is my digestion. When the sun sets, I will have already eaten and spend my evening winding down and getting my body ready for bed. I cannot quit this for a whole week. I have days where I did spend my time in artificial environments and not exposed to life outside. I lose connection with outside of me which is me. I don’t know if I’m making sense, but I am just as connected to earth and nature as I am my family. It’s the same thing to me. Without either, I would be sad and lifeless. Geez, just writing this makes me want to put my feet in the dirt.
We enjoy a morning sunrise!
Exercise:
Walking doesn’t require a whole lot of equipment or work. I can walk anywhere at any time without any direction. My only purpose is to walk, so why don’t I? I began my quest to find my walking shoes and get to pounding the pavement. I kind of love the way my thoughts process and get organized in my mind. I also get my focus on my tasks depending on the day so I don’t feel flustered and out of control. I stopped walking a week and found myself wanting sweets more. Oh fun, I’m not walking so why not eat empty calories? My favorite are peanut M&Ms. My thoughts began to be negative. I was moodier for sure! I’m sure my husband was happy I started walking again but not happy he was a part of my weekend walks too. LOL!
Walking to begin the day!
Massage:
Massage is so nourishing to my mind body connection. I have to hit every inch of my body though with my Banyan sesame oil blend (I make my own scented body oil) and use my hands to work out knots and tend to the sore spots. I get a monthly massage from a professional, as well. This massage gives me time to understand how each part feels now and become familiar with normal and not normal. I am so familiar with myself and each mole, that I trust me when something is not right. I don’t need anything or anyone outside of me to tell me something is wrong. I’ll know and go get trusted help. I went half a week without my self massage and I was out of sorts. I felt lost, like my brain was wondering where all its friends were, leg, arm, neck…no connection. Just like Covid, shut out of homes and left to yourself. I know I need to always be there to tend to myself and never lose myself again. Home 🙂
Sunset reminds me to begin to slow and tend to my body needs, like massage.
Hobbies:
Man, back when I was a kid, I played the piano, violin, loved exploring my area, bike riding, swimming, reading books, cooking, pretending and using my imagination! When did I stop to learn how to fly? When I grew up who told me I had to give up my loves? I really don’t remember this build up but I forgot when I had kids. They became my life and that was it. I watched them make their dreams and I took a back seat. The manifestor became the back seat driver. I found out I like a lot of things and they became important again. In fact, I get to enjoy my joys with my kids and that swells my heart with all the magic of being a mom, full circle. I really enjoy this crazy life learnings and this is what life is! Learn and learn, who says to stop? I find that my hobbies are a great balance in my life. I get my fix of my hobbies for me, and I can do what I need to as a wife and mom.
I am a proud mom, wife, daughter, sister, Auntie, niece, friend😍
I hope there are some nuggets you can manifest into your life from my blog. I have spent the last 2 years stripping old layers of decay off my plate. I don’t know why we don’t ask why more often. I never received any responses to my questions so I took that old way of thinking out of my way. It didn’t serve me. What doesn’t serve you? Can you go without it and find your truth? I hope you do and I hope you keep learning too!
Did you feel insane last month? My March had me holding on for dear life! In retrospect, the ups and downs in my life seemed to mirror the weather outside. Cold, hot, warm, cool, windy, foggy, rainy, snowy, sunny. One thing I was able to manifest after a stagnant winter was walking every day. When I move my body, my thoughts digest, and I’m able to get in a stable headspace so I can focus. This is a great habit before work for me. If I stay too stagnant, my thoughts get stagnant, my body gets stagnant, and I find myself in a self-made prison. Everything has to flow. That’s my rhythm.
Catch me outside. That’s where you’ll find me.
I insist you learn all about you. I found out I knew nothing about myself outside of my family and busy worklife. It’s like one day I woke up and decided to get to know me. I spent hours by myself. Reading, paddle boarding, yoga, meditation, cooking, Ayurveyda. I found hobbies and met so many people, now friends! These things opened my comfort zone to new abundance. I was learning so much, and my heart opened. My anger subsided. I found this new phenomenon called inner peace.
Mr. Baby loves to go outside daily😻
One amazing morning ritual I can not skip is hot lemon water. The hot water helps release gunk clogging up our organs. How? Well, when I clean my floors, I love to use my steam mop. To me, the hot water steam gets deeper into the floor and scours stains and sticky spills. So I want that for me too! It’s deeply hydrating, and the lemon makes it delicious and other great benefits. Just try it for a week and see how you feel. I tell ya, you won’t be the same.
Hot lemon water or herbal teas are my #1
Getting outside in nature is one of my therapies. I listen. It’s beautiful. I watch the sun make its way up. The frogs. The moon fades into the brighter, bluer sky. Spring’s cool breeze flutters its warmer promises over my body. The breeze carries off yesterday’s burden. I feel lighter and purposeful. I love to journal in nature. My mind thrives in nature. I can not explain it. It’s magic.
We enjoy our afternoons outside💖
I hope this plants a positive seed in your thinking. Manifest your flow. After all, you know you better than anyone else does. Make mistakes on your journey so you learn. If everything has to flow, what does it take to put you back on track after chaos?
Self-Diagnosed Yogi 