truthseeker

Inner Peace Achieved

/ Self-Diagnosed Yogi / Leave a comment

Hello, fellow yogi!

Today, my house is no longer mine and belongs to a new family to create new memories. I will miss that house, but now I am in a new chapter. My immediate future is unknown but fascinating. I find myself becoming curious in my new environment, and I enjoy making new plans and stamping my ever-loving impression on all my new spaces. I am digesting new experiences as they come up. I may sit with a feeling to discover the path I need to grow. It’s so easy to look at new difficulties with zero hope, but how does it feel to sit in it and learn to be ok? In the beginning of my spiritual awakening, I was always sitting next to the water. I would meditate and be entranced with the offerings of the water and wet earth. The smell, the sound, the water spilling onto the land, and receding as wildlife created ripples. I saw so many fish feed early in the morning. I was home. I finally learned peace and to be content with where I am now.

A meditative walk in nature with my sweet Alex💝

I had to be alone to understand my why and to heal. I had a lot of garbage from my past I lugged around. Thoughts, experiences, life that needed to be sorted. What did I need to get rid of and drop off at the lake? I spoke my truths to rocks and buried them deep to be cleansed by the earth. I knew I was getting better because I felt better. My yoga poses became unhinged. My hips were awakened. I was fluid and thriving in my new environment.

Yoga with Mr. Baby🥰

I remember so vividly how light I became. I wanted to be safe sitting at the water’s edge all the time. I was protected and thriving for the first time in my adult life. First thing in the morning, at 5:20 a.m., I rolled out my mat and began my ritual. My spiritual ritual and all the things that brought me joy. All the things people told me to stay away from cause its “devil” stuff. Well, those people and their opinions weren’t very prevalent in my life because I was able to find my truth through all the haze. I became unscared and unglued. I was freed from chains I was born into. Generational curses, traumas, living my life to please others, depression, alcoholism, it all began to speak to me to guide me away from the pain I didn’t have to stay in. I was my own abusive partner for so long, but I found out how much I loved myself. I thank nature for that. I didn’t heal myself, and I’d like to think I played a part in helping heal nature too.

Well, there is a beautiful painting that reflects my healing process. It brought me to recollect my inner peace and write this blog. I am hanging this in my living room over my fireplace to bring peace in my new chapter. It will serve as a reminder how far I came. It will give me healing vibrations from memory of the water washing me clean. I am still here thriving in the midst of life.

My new painting, Silent River by Mishea Obiji💝

Namaste!

All pictures by Self-Diagnosed Yogi💞

Eras Collab

/ Self-Diagnosed Yogi / Leave a comment

Hè, friend!

Another week began, and I decided to vacate the usual hamster wheel routine. Things need to be rearranged to fit my new life aspirations motif. I am manifesting me. New me, improved me, a new eras me. I will embrace this change because it’s a collab of all the past mes at my highest self. I have a collection of personal highs that will encourage me to live as my highest self. I present an eras collab.

Youth me:

I could sit by this little stream and watch the patterns ripple over the tree roots and rocks. There was a comfort in the songs of the birds. I knew this wooded area so well. I spent so much of my childhood here. Alone. I preferred. I never needed anyone here. I was always safe.

There is nothing like an early morning walk to greet the sun. It’s amazing! I also like to workout early. My plan is to move every morning. This daily practice helped me tremendously with my recovery. I know I need it.

Teen me:

I loved to write. I would listen to Lauryn Hill and write poems, stories, and research papers. Lol! I was obsessed with words and meanings. There is a floetry to a love dance or hurt. Being a teen in the 90s was amazing. I had great women to admire and get inspiration.

I plan on getting word creative daily. I’m not sure how that looks, but infesting myself with words is my goal. In and out.

20’s me:

Social butterfly in the house! I was in it all! I miss having the hours long girl time conversing and not having to hold back cause your circle was tight. I could hold the same sacred circle for all my girls. What a huge blessing.

@blushfitness

30’s me:

Lifting weights was unlike any other workout. I was so connected; mind, body. I was able to build muscles and squat heavy. I showed up for myself and surprised myself. I got pretty fit by myself. I can get back to this mindset, no problem.

As vast as this ocean is, I trust the journey.

40’s me:

Acceptance. I never fully understood what this would be like. I enter my 40s facing the unknown. Life after covid, wrinkles, finally facing my alcohol problem, new career turn, spiritual awakening, healing traumas. That’s in 2 years. Life is wild!

I might have this huge plan to slowly introduce my highest eras back into existence, but with my wisdom, I know acceptance for where I am is most needed. Acceptance is my peace and wisdom is my compass.

Namastè!

All pictures by Self-Diagnosed Yogi.

Self-Realization

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Hè, friend!

Spring is really showing out this season. We had wet, rainy days, cold days, blustery windy days, hot, sunny days, and chilly nights. My spring reset is officially fully integrated, and I am excited to see the sights with my fully functional senses. I would agree that April is flying by! I made an intention of posting every day, but I found it wasn’t beneficial to my life. I do want to share every day, but some days I get so busy, I forget. I also find myself in a repeating thought process. It’s where I am sometimes. I found myself in a familiar pattern of not finishing things. I will have big ideas and big plans, but I fall short and completely stop. I then move on to the next thing to partially build.

4/20 plant potting party!

I noticed this huge pattern in my life. A huge hindrance and an elephant in the room I called ‘normal’. Now that I see it, what am I going to do about it, you ask? Well, I am taking big plans into action by building my lemonade business up. I began my week of research and writing and planning. I’m quiet on the internet, but things are manifesting over here! I want to see this out and invest my best in myself. If the business fails, I will take what I need and build it better the next time. If I thrive, I will share my knowledge as seeds for the next person. I am not a gatekeeper, I share. Knowledge is power, and I feel it in my soul that I am on the right path no matter the outcome.

Whatever I say now are my plans will change. I will change as a person as my business grows. This is the natural progression in life. I know what it feels like to be wanting more and have no idea how to get there. I just left an outgrown garden bed and found one with companion plants that will ensure my survival and show me how to thrive. One day, I will need to change out of this garden bed but for now, it’s home. My roots are getting stronger as I learn to navigate through these unknown times. My feet will not fail me now.

Namastè!

All pictures by Self-Diagnosed Yogi.

Manifestor

/ Self-Diagnosed Yogi / Leave a comment

Hè, friend!

It’s been pretty quiet over here. I have been taking some time out to decompress and reset. I am ready to resume my path, and I am contemplating how my mornings will look beginning next week. I have new focus and direction to entertain me while the kinks of my life work themselves out. I will finish what I started and noticed I’m falling back into a pattern of a bunch of half-finished shit. Ew. I want to manifest myself as a finisher and even better as a successful businesswoman. I have saved millions for big corporations, and now it’s time for me to use my power for me. I will determine my successes, and this will be such an amazing time to learn and make money while learning on the job.

What is a manifestor?

A do-er. The seer from manifesto to end-O. Me. Hi, I am a manifestor of my life dreams and I turn them into reality. I know what things make me sing and I know what the beat of my heart longs for. I am excellent at solving my own problems and keeping moving forward. My dreams become tangible, and I keep manifesting my dreams.

Make a detailed list.

How can I know what I really want if I don’t write it down? I get excited seeing new monthly goals typed out. It makes them real. I mean, how can I talk about my future plans with my future customers if I’m not planning? Duh! I love planning, it’s acting on those plans that’s my downfall. I find myself in too many rooms and not finished painting one of them. I think this might be mindless sabotage pattern that I need to break. I see how this sneaky little, big, huge problem snaked its way into my sober life. I quit alcohol so this is nothing. Here goes nothing.

Do I need to break a pattern?

First of all, I will need to be the one to recognize it. Then, I have to agree to change its form. I find value in boundaries and making sure I trust where I am. Do I need armor? Do I need my defenses up? I like to fully understand where I am in my feelings. How do I feel? That is a multiple, daily question. For real. Next, is the breakthrough question if there is value in change. Sometimes awareness plants a seed and eventually a new thought pattern can grow from that. It just takes time to see where growth takes place. Growth isn’t necessarily lowering the gates, just awareness.

Small wins!

I will celebrate every day. There is a lot that goes into my human day of life. I take for granted waking up. I mean, that is a huge blessing! I have a lot of classmates that didn’t make it to my age so prayers up! I know success because my whole life has been just that. I know I cannot lose when my mind is 100% in the game and I really believe I am on the right, successful path that I am supposed to be on.

Namastè!

All pictures by Self Diagnosed Yogi.

What’s Crack-a-lacking?

/ Self-Diagnosed Yogi / Leave a comment

He, friend!

The tide of troubles is receding. I feel like I’m back in my familiar bubble. What a human experience that this has been, and it’s crazy to believe all of this is in my head. I mean, the facts are the facts, and my experience is basically my reaction to what is. I felt all kinds of things, and all I wanted to do was go back home and find my safety embrace from my husband so I could recharge. I think I tended to my wounds, and now it’s time to get back to my purpose. Not before acknowledging what I learned, though. Let’s get crack-a-lacking!

Practice Patience

I want to start off by saying that I find my patience comes and goes. Somedays I have it and others I don’t. I’m sure deeper delves into my meditations and thought process can unravel some of this, but until then, I will be a bit like Kansas weather, unpredictable. Let’s just say that last week taught me to have patience on a busy life day or lose control. Naturally, I didn’t want to be patient because I had other things to do than to tend to this issue. I mean, what was my option? Pull my hair out and stress about something out of my control? Hell no! I’ll take a side of patience with my peace. Thank you. I guess I can accept change pretty quickly and not feel like I lost. This brings me to my next learning…

Accepting this will be enough to nourish my body❤️

Acceptance

If I could design my life the way I wanted it, I’m about 1,000% sure I’d be dead by now. Yup, me in my teens was pretty reckless. So, there is my point. I don’t believe I have the mind capacity to fully understand that every move I make creates a ripple in the way life happens for all. Even the things we can not see. I have no idea how to protect what I can not see; therefore, I can not be in charge. I accept what is and do my part in making sure we as humans can keep living and loving on earth. I take in so much peace just letting go of control. Brain tingles.

Mantra

This one is very new to me. I mean, I have heard of them and participated in many opportunities to hear people’s daily mantras to themselves. I am in awe of people highly respecting themselves and having these deep, love infested words that I want to steal. I always felt intimidated to size up that mantra. When in yoga, I mind my mat. That means I do not invest time or thoughts in what the person next to me is doing. It’s the teachers cues, me, my mind, body, soul. So, here I am being sized up by wise words. By someone who found who they are. I admire that wisdom. I know that when I start speaking to myself more often in front of the mirror, I cry. I cry because I believe what I am saying, and they are very kind words. I want to represent those words; I hope I do.

Yogi Outro

Everyone knows love lives in the heart. It is felt in the heart the most for me as well as heartbreak. It all makes sense. When I need more love in my heart I like to connect with really red foods. I like to believe it helps and if it doesn’t oh well, I love beets, steak, and raspberries all the same 🙂 Life is crazy and full of surprises. I know Cry Fest 2024 is a continuation and I feel better prepared to weather a storm when I am fully present in myself. I used to carry all of my worries, traumas, fears in my body and buried them deep. I work out my issues as soon as I can. I just don’t want to be back in that headspace. I’m still watching the seeds planted two years ago flourish. This is an amazing life and I’ll take the bad with the good cause there is nothing like living.

Namastè!

All pictures by Lenape Spiritual Yogi Awakened.

Lessons of Unpacking My Sh*t

/ Self-Diagnosed Yogi / Leave a comment

Hè!

I had a great sleep last night and woke up full of energy and light on my feet. That is really odd considering I ate way less than I have, ever in my days. Unless I was sick. I am feeling pretty good today. It’s only 5am but who am I to block this productivity? I guess a fast-mimicking cleanse brings good medicine for me. I only have 2 more days to go. I feel the natural flow of cleansing to be rhythmic as it invades my body, space, and mind. Today I will share the lessons of unpacking my shit.

Lesson #1: Clean, Tidy Spaces

We have been upgrading our carpet and with new changes we have to get into the deep corners that are not touched to clean house. This has been wonderful to get rid of things in our bedroom. I have so much space and do not plan on putting something else in its place. It will just be an empty space now. Beautiful and purposeful. I want my bedroom to be a decompression tank for me and my husband. No piles of junk and extra stuff with no home to share my space with. Everything has a home and if it does not. Do I need it? Stay tuned on our upgrades sometime this summer.

Lesson #2: Light Dinner

I am not one to know what a “light” dinner is before Ayurveda came into my life. It took me even a few years after to fully understand what a light dinner does for me. Even cutting a regular meal in half is considered lighter. I am waking up feeling light and energized even more. I feel my body wringing out from all the processed foods and gunk I have exposed myself to. This is exhilarating to say the least! This is my only body and I have goals to live a long time and hug my family.

Lesson #3: Adequate Sleep

For me, I need to be in bed by 9:30 PM. No exceptions! If I want to wake refreshed and full of purpose, then bedtime is important. I spent many, many nights up at 11pm. Shoot, we used to eat dinner around 8 pm! That is crazy to me now! LOL! Me and my husband agree, going to bed early and waking early is a huge part of who we have become. I love getting older with this man! We sync up as we age. I can suggest a good, solid night routine. What are 3 things you absolutely love to do to care for you? I start with a decompressing bath with candles and an amazing book. The warm ambiance sets the tone. I oil myself up with my herby potions and get me a hot nightcap drink going. I will settle in bed with my journal and/or book in my peaceful space.

Lesson #4: Connecting Mind, Body, Soul

I am a sucker for yoga! It gets my mind off its usual role of survival, and I can connect my mind to my body and breath. Seriously, how often do you consider your breath? Do you notice how fast it can be when you are stressed? It’s not fully expressional and short. Imagine breathing like that all the time. You don’t use it, you lose it. I notice as my loved one’s ages their breath becomes shallower. I practice my full yogic breathing daily. That is a deep loving inhale in three parts: chest, diaphragm, and belly. It is a practice and accepting where we are with it now is love. Love yourself and keep going! Whatever the flavor, being mindful to moving the body daily is key to a healthy mindset.

Lesson #5: Community

There are people just like me, that are curious with change. I am attracting people to me just by being me. I love to engage with people and share stories. There are so many groups I become a part of and I am gifted new friendships. I am always busy but most of my time is spent alone. I am changing this and getting involved daily. If I have extra time, I will volunteer and get my face out in public. I notice a lot of the same faces in my community activities. I love being with people and being around the right people is healing for me.

Yogi Outro:

I am finding my space to be less confusing and more welcoming. I have thinned out my bookshelf even and donated some good reads. I love this season because it forces me to look at things I have neglected. Spring cleaning is epic! Last year, in my garden, I didn’t take the time to properly add nutrients back into the soil. My garden paid for my decision and I had a small harvest because of it. Lesson learned! I am just like my garden. If I take my time before growing season to ensure my body is detoxed and ready for work, then I will be MVP. I will be unstoppable with hitting my goals!

Namastè!

Space Initiation

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Hello!

I had a long, confusing day. It wasn’t bad at all, but it wasn’t how I planned it. I had all my ducks in a row and BAM! I couldn’t carry on and had to rest. I find the hard pauses a must to comply or fuck around and find out kind of deal. I didn’t miss a beat after I felt better and found myself socializing more than normal. I just didn’t get to finish my ” To Do” list I planned.

We napped💝

I did get my green juice prepped for these next few days. I have my beef bone broth brothing in the crockpot overnight. I can enjoy that as my very light lunch for a few days and if this cleanse doesn’t suit me at all I will end it. I’m actually very excited for tomorrow and reflecting during these next few days. I’m ready to cleanse and get things less heavy.

Nourishing my body is the goal this week!

I accept what is, and know I don’t always have control. Nor do I want it. I don’t know how the whole universe works and time and space. I do know how to cope and change my mindset for my health. If one of my rules causes me torment, then I’ll investigate and reassess. I don’t need outside advice, I just need time to reflect. I have begun the initiation of space into my life. Lots of space these next few days. There are lots of things to notice, I’m sure. How far can you go?

Namastè!

All pictures by Lenape Spiritual Yogi Awakened.

Roadblocks

/ Self-Diagnosed Yogi / Leave a comment

Hello!

“Anything that is not love is only a visitor to your body.”

-Tahlia Hunter inspired by Rumi “This being human is a house guest”.

I would agree that there was too much space from my last post to now. The off time has been filled with lots of learning and getting prepared to frolic in the summer season. I have started my spring detox and with this comes cleaning out my mind. I find meditation to be the most helpful to receive messages from my body. I sync up to my highest self and get first-hand knowledge on how to navigate through the unknown. Everything in this new season is unknown and I have no idea I am about to realize the huge roadblock standing in my way is me.

To step or not to step:

I cannot look at a task for what it is. I feel when I do that it absorbs my attention into the boring monotony of completing it versus what can I learn from this? I just cannot wait to get it done but if I accept what needs to be done, then I can be mindful and present, the time flies, lessons are learned, and I move on with a pocketful of new knowledge. What a concept! Let me tell you, this has been one of the biggest lessons of my life!

I am a naturally lazy person and I enjoy my sloooow mornings but what I want is not what I NEED. The act of being a proactive person is much more than thinking it. Uggghhhh! I tend to plan more than act. Anyone feel me on that? LOL! I want to be a do-er!

This is how mediation and journaling helped me. So, I can get carried away in daydreams. How I want a moment to go, my life, my day, my night routine, etc. I may or may not act on them depending on my mood. I mean, how can I know what works if I don’t try? Well, I begin to journal what thoughts are repetitive. How do these thoughts make me feel? What would happen if I actually manifested this thought into my current life? I will close my eyes and clear my head of all thoughts as much as I can handle. I enjoy the silence, the darkness, the sounds. My breath is my focus until I settle in nothing.

I don’t know exactly how this works, but answers flood my brain. The messages I receive may be too out of my comfort zone. I may be too embarrassed or scared to step out of line. What would people think? I might start to tell myself things I heard other people say about themselves or about me. I might begin to believe the words; the names and I might start to look at myself negatively. But then, a huge part of me says, “What if I’m good at it? What if I am a success? What does success look like?”

It took me years and thousands of dollars in therapy to get to this point in my life. I spent so much time trying so many things to support who I really am. I showed up for everyone but me. I stand tall for my kids, and I will love and support them no matter what. I show up for my family and friends and shower them with all of my attentive love. I will give the shirt off my back to help someone in need. But what will I do for me? I do for everyone but myself and that is my roadblock. My huge pillar standing in my way. ME.

What does showing up for myself look like?

I have decided to be a full-time business entrepreneur. I feel the universe is fully supporting me and I can do what I need to share my drinks with the world. I have never felt so fucking comfortable in such an unfamiliar place. I just keep putting one foot in front of the other and I trust I am on the right path. I have applied to participate in a local pitch competition, and I am scared out of my mind. That is exactly what I need to level up. Fear will keep me focused and I will show up to represent who I am and what I plan to do. This is something I don’t do. Share my future goals with anyone! Holy shit! Let’s go!

I do plan on posting every day for the rest of the year (with lots of grace and love to myself). I will share my thoughts and lessons and maybe these can seed your “mind garden” and get you thinking about you, too! What will it take to level up and get to your next higher self? Oh, I can’t wait!

Namaste!