Trust The Process

February 13, 2025February 13, 2025 / Self-Diagnosed Yogi / Leave a comment

Hè, friend!

It has been too long since I have shared my life experiences as a yogi. My last post was falling back in line with my commitments to myself. I am the most unstructured person I know. Can I be structured? Yes! In fact, the slow but steady curiosity has led me to believe it is crucial in my growth. I have been pondering where I want to be in life. What does my life look like in 5 months? 1 year? 5 years? This is so important to be really clear with myself. Needless to say, this took all of 3 months. I am just getting started on how to get there. It’s not a rush but a direction I am heading. I will accept the failures and learn then re-route. Trust the process.

This morning, I decided to whip out a facial mask recipe and I am glowing! I feel fantastic too! My life is pretty amazing and it’s clear I have created all the space I needed to begin my transformation. The full moon last night was pulling all the worries I have front and center. I do not like to give worry a pulse but last night I tossed from 2:40 am – 4 am. I guess it’s time to face what it is. I like to pause and walk around the very root of my issues, careful to not disturb until I’m ready. Now it is so.

Winter has brought up a lot of things, things I forgot I buried…

This winter has been very clear to me. I have discovered a lot about me that I admire, and I want to gather all of my strengths into community. I find myself wavering because I am not fully rooted. When I am certain my “WHERE” and “WHY” I can build on that. It takes so much time, and I know I need to reach out to my community. Who are they? Where do I feel safest? I notice as people show me their true colors I will either jump or withdrawal and lately, there’s been a lot of me pulling back, observing. Who can I trust? I usually fall quickly and learn the hard way. Why is trusting people so blind? I mean, I am genuine, and I just cannot believe how hard that is….truly disheartening.

I have a local business helping me with my business branding and social media. I cannot wait to begin the spring/summer season of selling my drinks. I love what I do, it’s why I do it. I am craving more though and since I have gotten clear on my goals, I just need courage and trust. Well, I hope to begin documenting my journey as promised. I am worthy of all the glory of my wildest dreams! I really am and I am ready to get started!

Namaste!

New Year, New Pose

January 4, 2023January 4, 2023 / Self-Diagnosed Yogi / Leave a comment

Happy New Year, my beautiful yogi friend!

I am enjoying the new year on vacation! I’m enjoying myself and finding a lot of peace. I am so full of love, I could burst! For the first time in my life, I feel safe and impervious to defeat. I read my letter to myself from last New Year and after I cried tears of joy for being the strong woman my past self hoped for, I found that I can manifest my life. I achieved my dreams for 2022. What the hell?? I discovered I can be in control and I can drive my life where I want to go. I’m on my mat with every cell in my body screaming, “New year, new pose!”

Me a year ago, I was growing without boundaries, rules, or expectations. I quickly found that doesn’t work.

Spiritual Growth Needs Rules and Boundaries

My spiritual growth is exponential. I found the recipe to get my butt in gear and ran! I had a hard life growing up and found myself stuck in a circle of cleaning up after myself a lot. I feel like I didn’t know how to think or advocate for myself. I acknowledged other people’s rules and boundaries but never loaded myself up with any. I should have. I learned that boundaries are healthy and not rude. I require space and time to reflect on my day now. I was always going, going, going and my path lead me to drink profusely, rarely follow through on my thoughts of self-improvement, and never set any goals. I was doing what I could to get through the day. I was surviving and not thriving! So exhausted all the time.

It gets better. As sure as the sun rises a new day begins. I found a way to get unstuck from my old way of thinking. It didn’t serve me, it was only meant for my survival. I got away from the things trying to kill me and began living again🥰

My Awakening

I slept hard for 40 years and all of a sudden, I awoke. My senses judged my surroundings. I became aware of my decisions and I wanted to clean up my life. I focused so much on my yoga and meditation. I found board yoga and made a new friend with the owner. Actually, I found myself with a bunch of new friends, enjoying new things and not just enjoying them but loving them. It changed me. I became new and vibrant. My thoughts were loving and fresh. I had so much freedom but it was all still new. I, again, overbooked my calender cause I had to try all the new yoga classes, sound baths, paddleboarding, and retreats. I was so inquisitive about living that I found myself longing for rest.

I made my 1st sourdough to round out 2022💝

My Restful Rest

I seriously love a great meditation that recharges my energies and resets my mind. Ahhhhh… so rested and loved. All of this is intentional love back to myself. In the beginning, I meditated less than one minute and definitely not every day. In fact, it took me a solid season to feel any benefit so don’t expect a field of roses after planting the 1st seed. This is a practice. My mind is wired to always think and create. Sitting in silence was way left field! I stayed with guided meditations. I found my silence was indeed waking up the beast. My mind was getting organized and I found myself craving my meditations. By late spring I was meditating daily and to add a cherry on top, I would take my meditations outside😍

My beginning of prana meditations. Prana is the life force. I love to gather my energies by the water. I’m such a water lover! Mni Wiconi! (Water is Life ~ Lakota)

My New Beginnings

So, how will I get into my new pose for 2023? I have a lot of ideas and I’m ready for it!! I spent 2022 getting stronger and wiser. I stopped chasing the mundane. I only want me. I get to experience the highest highs all because I want to be my best self. There isn’t anything in this world worth chasing than my freedom. I am FREE! There aren’t any chains on me anymore. I found my voice, it’s singing from the hills. Sing with me, friend! I just never felt this before and if I could encapsulate this feeling and share it, I would. I only have my stories and my blog is where I share them. I can’t wait to continue my journey onward! Happy New Year!

Namastè 🙏🏽

All pictures by Lenapè Spiritual Yogi Awakened.

Don’t Hesitate to Meditate

December 28, 2022December 28, 2022 / Self-Diagnosed Yogi / Leave a comment

Happy Wednesday, my beautiful yogi friend!

I have been enjoying this warmer (40-ish degrees) weather and getting outside to walk. I sometimes forget this is even an option in winter. My senses get a huge dose of life and stimulation from the outside environment and it’s amazing! I must remember this past week! Of course, negative temps will keep me in the house but I get today to enjoy the fresh, cool air. Ahhhhhh! I find moving helps me stay aligned with my spiritual fitness. Walking meditation is so grounding and head-clearing for me. I am a dreamer and I enjoy walking without a podcast or music, headphones, or my phone! I’m able to concentrate on my environment and can soak up outside with all 5 senses. One good thing leads to another good thing.

The sun is a bit slow to wake but I wait for the warm rays in anticipation.

On colder days, I wait for the sun to alleviate my icy face, and I’ll meditate. I have to get my daily focus done and get my purpose centered or I lose all control of my day. I get seated comfortably and place the back of my hands on my knees so I fill them with the sun’s offerings. My mind is filtering my thoughts and setting aside things to focus on. I find if I carry something from yesterday or last week, I can decide what to do with it. Keep it or toss it? I enjoy the control of my thoughts. I don’t have to keep anything that hurts or I can deeply explore its roots and get it solved. I’m pretty good at meditating. Sometimes my thoughts are clear and sometimes it’s a long session of sorting chaos. Regardless, it’s important and I enjoy cleaning up the day.

Just last week, I learned candlelight meditation. We held a light gaze without blinking. After a minute or so, I closed my eyes and imagined the flame dancing. Memories of the flame outline danced in my mind until it flickered away. My mind settled on the directions of my teacher and began the guided meditation. I would say this was relaxing after it was said and done. I didn’t know what to expect so my mind wasn’t at rest. I guess it was too new so I may try this again soon. I like to try something more than twice to decide if I like it or not.

My favorite time after yoga to reflect and rest… meet savasana.

Have I told you savasana is my best meditation? It’s the desert after dinner. The cleansing of the full moon. The feeling of lightness after a much-needed cry session. I give my all to my mind-to-body connection. Each pose is purposeful and I’m mindful of my abilities. Such care and love go into my yoga practice. I find myself so intentional that the break of savasana lets me explore the feeling after. I absolutely love my 30-minute savasana that includes yoga nidra in my Tuesday class. Delicious! I highly recommend it!

I practice my meditations at home as well incorporating my healing sound bowl. My bowl is deep vibrations that envelope my hearing in healing comfort. I cannot wait to add more bowls but I’m having fun perfecting my healing modalities. I meditate before and after my session. I really enjoy learning new things and exploring how to manifest them into my healing journey. There is no one size fits all. I find self-exploration the best tool to finding your best chances at meditating. You gotta crawl before you walk. Don’t expect 5 minutes of meditating to not feel like 50 minutes on your first rodeo. Do 1 minute and add 1 minute per week. I was a beginner too and my mind was loud! It gets less chaotic but some days are busier than others. Keep practicing and find yourself in a whole new state of mind. Yogi’s honor🧘🏽‍♀️🙏🏽

All pictures by Lenapè Spiritual Yogi Awakened.

Winter Solstice

December 21, 2022December 21, 2022 / Self-Diagnosed Yogi / Leave a comment

Happy winter solstice, friends!

The snow is a comfort to my eyes. It’s memories of sledding with my brother and dad, snowball fights, snow angels and bravely looking up towards the gray abyss and catching fat snowflake clumps in my eyes and mouth. I dance in these memories. Nothing but pure joy on memories. I have many. This was my childhood. I need new memories in my 40s of winter. I’m planning on ringing in the new year in Colorado! I’m so excited to spend 6 days with my family in a beautiful cabin home. I will relish in these memories for years to come. Until then, I will bring some food comfort memories into the game!

I find myself skipping breakfast most days. I have been on a sweets kick for a few months now. It’s so annoying but I quit drinking alcohol so if I have a cookie or 2 a day it’s better than picking up a beer…or more, which usually is more than 1. So skipping breakfast is my balance. Some days, I’ll just have stewed apples. I’ll peel 2 small apples and cut them into chunks with filtered water and my chai seasoning spices. I’ll cook for 5-10 min and add more cinnamon before eating. I’ll save the hot spiced water to add to my morning herbal tea. I have been enjoying sipping on CCF (Cumin seeds, coriander seeds, fennel seeds) tea throughout the day. I also, toast pumpkin seeds, chia seeds, hemp seeds, and flax seeds and mix them in a jar. I will eat 1 tablespoon a day to help me thicken my hair. I’ve had covid once a year and the hair loss is sad 😔

Me and Mr. Baby like to be lazy together ❤️

So, if you know anything about Ayurveda then you should know your dosha. Doshas are based on elements of fire, water, earth, air, and space. I am Kapha – Pitta which affords me water & earth (Kapha) and fire & water (Pitta). I know I am missing space and air, so I can incorporate these into my eating habits. I create “space” by eliminating breakfast. I can add vata foods but since it’s winter, this is known as Vata season. I feel pretty balanced thus far. I make sure I check in every morning during my meditation to see where I’m out of balance. I can find myself feeling heavy if I don’t move and I feel too grounded and not connected to things that bring me joy, like yoga. Food can initiate pleasure as well, as long as it doesn’t create more kapha in me. Like fried foods, heavy meals late, sweets and buttery fats, geez typing this made me sweat. Lol!

I typically eat soups and stews but my corn soup needed a fry bread accompaniment 🥰

So, my lunch will be between 11 and noon. I break my fast with a well thought out meal. I typically like to meal prep a big pot of stew or soup for the week I can eat off of but this week is short for me so I’m having leftover arrabiata gluten free spaghetti with beef and a kale salad. Beef is sweet, arrabiatta is pungent with garlic, onions, red pepper, parmesan cheese is salty, tomatoes are sour, basil dried from my summer garden enhance astringent flavors, and a quick tossed kale salad to introduce bitterness to my fully balanced meal.

As long as love is included, all foods are good foods💖

After lunch, it’s important to let my body do its thing and digest. I will watch Youtube videos or read for a bit before beginning working. This is a sacred time for me to be with my thoughts and make sure I’m digesting my experiences as well. I won’t need to eat again until dinner. I used to be in a rush to eat before yoga but I feel an empty stomach gives me a better practice. I’m not sure why but instead of my body focusing on digesting, it can focus on my mind- body connection. I feel all the hallelujahs when I’m empty of food, not on love🤩

I have been enjoying dinner with my family. My daughter has been working on a 500-piece puzzle and I like to talk to her while she matches up pieces. I find eating the exact same thing my family eats at the same time gives me what I need in this season. It’s more 80/20 and I give myself leniency because I work for myself and not against myself. I find all the love in the season and take what I want to keep. I am not obligated to always be what I think I’m supposed to be. I’m evolving and taking my family for a ride on the crazy train! We love it cause we are together. We are a family that isn’t dripping in our perfections 24/7, I love them and they’re my perfect family🥹💞

For dinner, I enjoy a small plate of food with as much adherence to the 6 tastes as possible. I may have a cookie or 2 and a cup of cacao to settle me into my bed. Crumbs and all.

Namastè 🙏🏽

All pictures by Lenapè Spiritual Yogi Awakened.